Windsor Alley Metamorphosis: Butterfly Lane

Butterflies are often seen as beautiful, mysterious and hold a special symbolism and meaning. They are considered a metaphor representing transformation, change, courage, hope, and life. Welcome to Butterfly Lane. 

Thanks to the Brain Injury Association of Windsor & Essex County, residents, city councillor, Chris Holt, and many local artists, the 1100 block of Devonshire Road is bursting with butterflies. The Butterfly Lane mural project was created to raise awareness and the prevalence of brain injury in our community and is quite the sight to see.

A snapshot of just a few favourite art pieces from our walk

One of my favourite movie lines from Ferris Bueller's Day Off reminds me that "Life moves pretty fast. If you don't stop and look around once in a while, you could miss it."  I'm so glad we stumbled across this little area. I had no idea it even existed, but that's the fun of exploring the city you live in, you always find new things you never encountered before. 

I hope you enjoy your stroll through Butterfly Lane as much as we did.

💜Check out the Butterfly Lane Mural Facebook Page to learn more about the artists and their work.

Wishes Do Come True: Q&A with author, Tara Shannon

 

Rabbit and Bear Illustration by Tara Shannon 

A book is a wonderful gift that will never go out of style. It may get a little dusty or the pages may wrinkle over time, but it’s often a treasure worth keeping. Once you open that first page, your heart skips a little beat because there’s an adventure waiting just for you and that’s pretty exciting.  A book is also like your own personal travel companion, as it goes wherever you go, no questions asked. 

Tara Shannon is an Ontario-based children’s author who recently published her exciting book Rabbit and Bear Make a Wish that sprinkles a little extra magic in every page, filled with hope, comfort and endless possibilities. It teaches us connection and helps to unravel those uncomfortable emotions that get stuck. The illustrations are simple and combined with meaningful verses in every line, Rabbit and Bear become your best friends and that will warm anyone’s heart. 

Tara's book Rabbit and Bear will also be showcased April 1, 2021 by Miss Kate – the librarian, on The Giggle Mat , so you’ll want to tune in for that here: Episode 3: Bunny Tales

Enjoy my Q&A with Tara below.

1. For your book, you chose an interesting pair; a rabbit and a bear. What’s the connection for you with these particular animals?

Rabbit came along out of the blue one day, or so I thought. About 2 years ago, I was looking for a way to relax and calm my anxiety and express my creativity. I decided to try and draw a rabbit and I searched Pinterest for photos. Surprisingly, my first few rabbits turned out well, so I kept going. I was adding to each image some dialogue with another animal, insect or element of nature. One of the friends I paired rabbit with was a bear and people really seemed to like the two of them together. 

It wasn’t until later that I realized the personal connections... there are a few. Bear was my nickname as a child (I couldn’t pronounce the *T* in my name and it came out sounding like a *B*) and I still have some family who call me that. I used to hate it but actually like it now because it’s a link to my childhood and my family. 

My parents died several years ago in 2011 and 2013. I also lost a pregnancy in 2009. Those combined losses affect me to this day. One of the gifts I received during my pregnancy was a toy rabbit. So, Rabbit and Bear are equal parts the younger and older version of myself and representative of those I have lost. My parents and grandparents in Bear and my baby in Rabbit.

💠

2. Let’s take a trip back to a nostalgic time. Do you remember your favourite childhood book?

I enjoyed Beatrix Potter’s Peter Rabbit and A.A. Milne’s Winnie the Pooh but it was the Velveteen Rabbit by Margery Williams that had me by both heart and mind. I remember when my mom read it with me... it was so sad but so beautiful. Like life can be. 

💠

3.  One of your illustrations went viral around the world, which is amazing. Why do you think this particular drawing resonated so much with a global audience?

It tapped into the collective consciousness worldwide at the outset of COVID-19. I created that particular piece several months before it went viral, based on my struggles with anxiety and depression and my husband's struggle to know how to be there for me. At the time that I first shared it, it received a few likes and shares. Then, with COVID it seemed overnight hundreds of thousands of people understood anxiety, fear and depression in a way they maybe hadn’t before. They needed someone to sit with them. Rabbit and Bear were there. 

💠

4. Another passion you have is cooking.  I read that you were dipping your toes in culinary adventures in Dublin, Ireland. So of course, I need to ask, what is your number one comfort food that you like to make?

Yes! That was an amazing adventure that I will treasure always. I went to Dublin in 2016 for three months and stayed with my Aunt (my dad was from Dublin and much of his side of the family are still there) and earned a professional cookery certificate. Pretty well everything we made and ate was amazing but my go to for comfort food has to be just about anything with fresh pasta or mashed potatoes. That or Indian food. Absolutely love eating and making Indian food. 

Tara in the kitchen

The finished dish. Yum!

💠

5.  What is one piece of sage advice you’d like to share with anyone who is going through a difficult time?

If you feel you are out of your depth, ask for help.

I’m pretty much a die-hard introvert and I am stubborn but there have been times when I couldn’t go it on my own. My grief, anxiety and depression were too great and I was out of my depth. I had to ask for help. Sometimes we need help to get through difficult times. Don’t feel bad or ashamed about that. Ask for help. Reach out to a friend, family member, doctor or therapist. Pick-up the phone or send a message. 

💜You can find Tara’s book to purchase on Amazon, Indigo.

💜Website: https://www.tarashannonwrites.com/

Hope during COVID-19

It's hard for me to articulate my words right now, as each day feels as overwhelming as the next. However, i'm going to try.

🌟Thank you to ....

👉all the workers in a health care position working at the hospitals, retirement homes, and other medical facilities who are doing their best to save lives and provide mental health support to those of us who need it - on any level.

👉all the grocery clerks who are working around the clock, putting products on the shelves so everyone can feed themselves and their families

👉all the educators for continuing your passion for teaching in whatever capacity that is and not giving up on your students

👉the residents of Windsor-Essex County (and beyond) for supporting each other in so many ways, big and small - I've been connected with some amazing people I never knew before

👉all the entertainers who have lost all their gigs until an undetermined amount of time, you're appreciated and valued more than you know, keep on creating, singing, dancing, juggling, making us laugh, and whatever else you have up your sleeves

👉those who are debunking and reporting fake emails/stories/videos and other messages regarding COVID-19, to protect our most vulnerable right now

👉all the local restaurants still providing customers with amazing food, take-out/delivery service and a great big smile, even though we know you're hurting too

👉those who have reached out to someone else in the community, whether that's a family member, friend, neighbour, or a total stranger and provided emotional support, financial aid, or simply offered to pick up some extra toilet paper

the list goes on and on....

Just thank you ALL for being superstars. I'm proud to know you.

Facing Cancer: 40 Days of Radiation

Imperfect but still beautiful 

A neighbour you wave to, a co-worker you work with, a distant relative you see maybe once or twice a year for family gatherings, or even a  stranger that you meet while waiting in line at the grocery store, what do they all have in common? They have probably been through a cancer diagnosis or supported someone through it. However, it's a totally different feeling when it is someone so close to you.

I've almost lost my Dad once (through his very unexpected encephalitis illness) which took a very bad toll on my mental and physical health, even after his own healing began. I could not heal, I was not able to process my emotions clearly and no matter what doctor I went to, I still felt like this was just a nightmare I was never going to wake up from. Thankfully,  I woke up and realized that the next time (there will always be a next time of bad news - this is the reality of life) I will handle things differently, or at least try to.

I failed. I failed miserably yesterday. I got so overwhelmed with the idea of researching to make sure I knew everything about my dad's condition (prostate cancer) and what he was in for. Truth is, no one knows because every person is so different. You get horror stories from people and then others say that it wasn't pleasant but it was tolerable, and then there are the in-betweeners.  I had booklets and tons of information that I thought were all credible sources. I suppose my thinking cap wasn't screwed on tight enough when I didn't question the title of  one article stating "your prostate wants you to be a vegan." A bit extreme. I am just going to look things up when I absolutely need to. 

This is a situation I cannot really control fully and my burning desire to be in-control of something, anything... is hard to let go of.  I also have to acknowledge my own boundaries of what I can and cannot handle. I am thankful to my brother for taking the reigns this time and helping out in areas that I'm not equipped for.

And so I start again.

Here is my Dad's latest blog on what happened on his first visit to the Cancer Center here in Windsor.  His oncologist is wonderful, not to mention the whole staff and volunteers there. 40 days of radiation, 5 days a week is coming up. https://tecumsehcityblog.blogspot.com/2019/07/my-good-and-bad-news.html/

The thoughtful words and on-going support never go unappreciated or unrecognized, so thank you. :)

The Many Faces of PTSD: Stéphane Beaudin Speaks Out

 Curled up around his shoulders is Stéphane's "Angel" cat Léopold.
"He knows my schedule, and waits for me by the door.
He sits next to the tub while I take a shower and lays beside me at night."

We have all experienced traumas in our life, from a sudden illness that knocked us off our feet for a while, to dealing with some level of abuse from loved ones or even friends. Other times, we take on jobs or embark in careers that come with high amounts of stress or where one has to look death straight in the eye on a regular basis. Over time, we heal. However, some of us don’t and that’s where it gets complicated.

Try functioning “normally” with sleep-deprivation, agitation, feeling disconnected from your own body and thoughts. All those strange and usual sensations can inhibit your ability to have a fulfilling relationship or even find decent employment. Your support system can also wax and wane, leaving you feeling very isolated. These symptoms and much more can go on for days, months or even years.

Say hello to Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder. 

I would like to introduce you to Montreal-born, Stéphane Beaudin. He’s just your average guy, loves his family, full of community-spirit, and has a soft spot for political advocacy. What you don’t know is that Stéphane has a shadow that looms over him and that shadow is called Post Traumatic Stress Disorder (otherwise known short form as PTSD).

Stéphane has lived a tumultuous life, moving from Montreal to Windsor at a very young age, dealing with abusive relationships, bouts of poverty and more than most people could wrap their heads around. Although there were some very dark days (thankfully manageable now), these circumstances have not stopped him from fighting hard to overcome the hold that PTSD tries to grip many of our lives.

Below is my Q&A with Stéphane. 

1. Our society seems to be on stress-overload, yet it’s pretty amazing how some people are able to manage and are more resilient, while others just cannot cope and encounter debilitating anxiety and struggle with mental health conditions. When was the moment you realized that you were out of control and PTSD was taking over your life?

💠

I’d have to say there were many indicators that I ignored for a long time. As a child, my step-fathers were very authoritarian and abusive. I was regularly “punished” for things as simple as leaving a glass on the counter. When people did things that were “against the rules,” I would fly into a rage, especially if they were not “punished” as I was. I’m not saying this on-going abuse was the only cause of my PTSD, but it surely didn’t help.

At 17 years old, I was enlisted into the Army. My mom signed me up and I was a tank driver, and armoured reconnaissance. I was trained to locate and destroy enemy targets. During a training exercise, on of my Captains who recently got back from Serbia started to display mental health problems and became very unstable. He ended up by accident, injuring me. I decided after that incident I would become a medic. I wanted to help people like him transition back to regular life. I guess that’s when I realized what I was going through and when the healing began.

💠

2. What barriers have you faced in your professional and every day life and on the flip side, what strengths have you gained with having this diagnosis? 

No one knew until now what I was going through, and still dealing with on a daily basis. As one friend put it, “I put on a good show,” to which I reply, “fake it till you make it!”

It’s been a while since I left the army, but I still think like a soldier. I can’t let it get the best of me... that’s reserved for my family and friends.

I have lost good paying jobs and people sometimes think that I’m just an awkward guy trying to make friends. Truth be told, yes I am a little awkward, but that’s not always necessarily a bad thing. I do get discouraged sometimes and shut down, or become self damaging. As soon as I start to notice this pattern, I tell myself to do the opposite of what I want to do. It does help, but I find reaching out to my few close friends can really make a big difference.

💠

3. What are the most troubling symptoms that still occur for you and how do you deal with them?

Here’s where it gets a little dark, but this is the reality of living with PTSD. I tried to hurt myself. Not once, not twice, but three times.

First time was at the age of 16. I tried to hang myself. Before I did it, I said to myself that if there is a reason for me being here tell me now. There was no reply but the rope snapped. The second time, was a repeat of the first and happened in my early 20’s. During my third and final attempt, my cat Léopold ended up saving me. I actually hated cats, but obviously from this experience, I feel different. This little guy will be 14 years old this year. He is truly my angel.

On the days when I feel hopeless and worthless, like I can’t do anything, l I think about that day, as well as my wife and kids. It helps me get through.

💠

4. People who suffer with PTSD often describe some of their sensations like a TV remote that is constantly switching channels in their brain. The painful memories can often be distorted yet feel like the encounters are happening all over again. What kind of strategies do you use when you are having an attack? 

You’re right. For me, it’s like a TV show where I’m the star... the ratings are bad and some of the episodes should have never aired, but they are there, and I am playing it out, over and over again.

I found taking up different hobbies helps. Anything to get out of your head. I love gardening, and wine-making. I also like painting and enjoy volunteering my time. Of course, physical activity is really important for me, so going to the gym to workout and maintaining a proper diet really does wonders.

Another step is having someone to talk to when you see the dark cloud coming. For me, Léopold fits that category. He’s a good listener and doesn’t want to compare battle scars.

💠

5. What is one misconception about PTSD that you would like to put to rest? 

Well, it’s not just first responders that suffer from PTSD. The average person who has never even been to battle can suffer. We don't always need to be medicated, we need proper outlets to deal with it.

💠

6. What makes life worth living for you? 

My wife and kids are my world. I feel blessed to have them in my life. I will also include other family, like my aunts, uncles, siblings and parents. As I stated above, my hobbies (yup, I love my wine! Lol) and Léopold hold dear to my heart.

💠

Thank you Stéphane for opening up and sharing your journey with PTSD. I hope that others will have the courage and strength to keep fighting like you have in your life.

If you or a loved one is in crisis or require help in the Windsor-Essex County area, please contact any of the following:

https://windsoressex.cmha.ca/

https://www.hdgh.org/crisis

https://www.hdgh.org/transitionalstabilitycentre

Music: Sunrise by Bill Nuvo

For all the things that go wrong, it's those moments when you hear a song and you just  know in your heart that somehow, someway, everything will be all right.

Thanks babe for this song "Sunrise" for me. It's just perfect and really helping to lift my spirits.

Photo by Melissa F. Arditti

https://soundcloud.com/bill-nuvo/sunrise

September 11: Always Remember

New York City has worked hard to rebuild itself after such a tragedy took place.

Today instead of spreading blame and hatred, we should just honour those brave souls who risked their lives to save as many as they possibly could. For all the families, be strong and take comfort that those you have lost, will always remain in your hearts forever.

💜 Always remember. 💜

Please check out my fiance's blog who deconstructs one of many viral videos about how 9/11 was a "hoax."

http://scambusting101.blogspot.ca/2016/04/promoting-idea-that-people-who-lost.html

Dad's progress

UPDATE: Just another update on my dad since I know a lot of our friends want to know how he is doing.

So I guess I could say that everyday is certainly an adventure for all of us! When i walk into the room, either my dad knows who I am or it takes him a bit of time to process. At first this was really hard to handle emotionally, but I have come to terms that there may be days where he doesn't remember my name, but he recalls details. The other day, he realized that I had my haircut.

My dad is feeding himself and we are trying to keep meals healthy. His appetite is still weak, but way better than before. He is also walking around a bit more and doing exercises that were prescribed by the physiotherapist, instead of always staying in bed.

We got him a whole stack of dvds and musicals to watch, so Fiddler on the Roof has been playing pretty much non-stop, along with The 3 Tenors. It makes him smile and stimulates his brain. We're going to try some cards today.

He is also communicating better as well, cracking jokes at times, although still a bit jumbled especially when he gets tired. So although some days are better than others, we are still very hopeful for more improvement as time goes by.

We are welcoming visitors who are able to provide *only* positive and upbeat conversation because that is what my dad is really responding to. Sometimes his mind goes back to certain topics, but the best thing to do is just say "everything is taken care of and there's no need for you to worry" and then change the subject.

I guess that's it for now. Our days are long and sometimes physically and emotionally exhausting. We just want to say thank you again to those who have actively been helping our family, in even the smallest of ways. Every bit counts so we can provide the best possible care and continue the path of recovery. It is all greatly appreciated.

~The Arditti Family~

Longevity flowers

I had these beautiful "longevity" Fuji Mum flowers delivered to my parents from Victoria's Flowers and Gift Baskets. Thank you Kathy for making the arrangement so quickly.

I wanted them next to my dad's bed, so every time he wakes up, he can see the vibrant colours and remember me (i'm the purple flower). I also wanted to have them in his room, so no matter what kind of a day my mom is having, she can be reminded of how special she is to all of us.

Ed Arditti: MIA

Hi everyone.

I apologize for not blogging very much, however, the start of 2015 has been a rollercoaster ride for our family. I wanted to write a blog, but I haven't had the time nor the energy to put insightful or thoughtful words together. So please just bear with me.

Over the holidays, my dad fell ill with a terrible Encephalitis virus that severely attacked his brain. He was in Hotel Dieu hospital since the first of January, and finally came home on the 13th.  I know this has been devastating to everyone who knows him, including us.

Unfortunately, his cognitive abilities are rather delayed right now. He is currently taking anti-viral medications to reduce the swelling in his brain, which comes with its own side effects, but this is our best line of defense. We have around the clock care from a wonderful organization here in the city of Windsor called CCAC, from nurses to PSW's, an occupational therapist etc...

I wish that I could give more details or at least say that my beloved father is going to fully recover, but we don't know. No one seems to know specifics, it is a situation of wait-and-see, plus keeping up with blood tests, doctor's appointments and of course, monitoring any changes.

As you can imagine, this has been a very difficult time for our family, both physically and emotionally. This was not something we had anticipated and it has thrown our lives for a loop.

We appreciate all the support, deeply and truly.

I took this photo last year when we spent a nice day at the park together.

I love my Dad so much.

Hugo Movie Review: If You Lose Your Purpose, It's Like You're Broken

Movie Review:

Martin Scorsese remains one of Hollywood's beloved producers and directors of our time and most would equate his work with the popular mafia film; Goodfellas.  Step back though because Scorsese has truly made his mark in 2011 being part of his first 3D experience in movie making. Add in the creative elements of Johnny Depp and you have Hugo. 

The movie Hugo is set in Paris during the 1930's, where a young orphan boy named Hugo Cabret (played by the adorably brilliant Asa Butterfield) lives in the walls of the Paris train station. After his father's death, Hugo's care is taken over by his alcoholic uncle, who trains him on how to turn the clocks each and every day. With the sudden disappearance of his uncle, Hugo further isolates himself and continues to rebuild the broken automaton that him and his father worked on together many years ago, hoping it will reveal a message from Hugo's father.

The station manager, Inspector Gustav, (played by the hilarious Sacha Baron Cohen) guards the station proudly and keeps an eye on all the young vagrants he finds stealing. His satisfaction revolves around sending them back to the orphanage where he believes they belong. While being somewhat of a tyrant though, Gustav's heart beats for a beautiful woman who works in a flower shop but his own limitations dealing with his physical disability interferes every time and he cannot find the courage to speak to her for more than a few moments. 

A rude awakening happens when Hugo is caught stealing mechanical parts from a disgruntled toy shop owner named Papa Georges, (played remarkably by Ben Kingsley) who is anything but ordinary. Having Hugo empty his pockets and seeing the sketches in Hugo's notebook brings flashbacks and soon infuriates him. He threatens to burn each and every page if Hugo cannot prove that he is able to repair anything that is given to him. 

Devastated, Hugo runs away in tears feeling like he failed his father, but later returns, in hopes that he will get his notebook back to finish the automaton. Soon greeted in the station by Isabelle, the Goddaughter of the toy shop owner (played by a rather enchanting young actress named Chole Grace Moretz) is more than willing to help Hugo get his notebook back and put back together his past. Together they embark on an adventure that tests the hands of time.

Hugo is one of the best films I've seen in a long time. Be forewarned though, this is not your typical fantasy movie at all!! If you plan on taking young children (under 10 years old) to this particular one, the subject matter might be a little overwhelming.  

The movie reveals the darkest times and how fear can be the driving force in everything we do. At the same time, the genuine connections that develop between the characters are memorable, the innocence brings comfort and messages of hope leave you with a smile on your face. 

A life may be taken away from us on the physical sense, but the spirit remains, as if the person is still sitting beside you today. As long as you believe, love never dies. Also the fragile nature of human beings can be at any age and the limitations we have are only the ones that we put on ourselves.

3 Year Anniversary

You Are My Joy - The Reindeer Section

This poster (obviously had to decrease in size to fit here)

was made by Mike Longstreth, a very talented graphic artist.

 I thought it was the perfect gift for Bill to showcase his many talents.

http://www.nuvoentertainment.com/

-for all your entertainment needs.

2-Year Anniversary

Lyrical Expressions

****

Looking from a window above

It’s like a story of love

Can you hear me?

Listen to some music, maybe just talking

Get to know you better

Wise men say, only fools rush in

I know that we can be so amazing

And being in your life is gonna change me

I’ll take my chances, I forgot how nice romance is

I think I know why the dog howls at the moon

So save the last dance for me

Say good-bye to not knowing how to cry

You taught me that

The telephone call that tied up the line for hours and hours

Wouldn’t you agree?

Baby you and me, got a groovy kind love

She will listen to me when I want to speak

About the world we live in and life in general

She could dance all night and shake the paint off the walls

You stand by me

I’m forever yours

Faithfully

Darling come here

Slide on down beside me baby

I wanna feel your ecstasy

Aiming fingers searching secret pleasures

Roaming where your river seems so deep

I never thought tonight could ever be this close to me

My life is simple like the wrinkles on my skin

Sometimes all I need is the air that I breathe yes to love you

Truths you find through your adversities will defend you

As your powers and all your energies conspire to carry you

I’m going to smile because I deserve to

It will all get better in time

I see my future in an instant

And there it goes

I think I've found my best friend

Words are all I have to take your heart away

He kissed me in a way that I've never been kissed before

He kissed me in a way that I wanna be kissed forever more

Now I think it's kinda funny that you say you love me

You tell me that I'm crazy then you smile

God only knows what I’d be without you 

****

I hope you don’t mind that I put down in words,

How wonderful life is, 

Now you’re in the world. 

Happy 2 year Anniversary, I love you!

~Melissa~ 

I was truly inspired by many artists/bands to create something personal that would remind us of all the memories we have shared together for the last 2 years and counting. 

*Credit for all the lyrics goes to: 

Yazoo, Abba, UB40, Michael Buble, Billy Joel, Johnny Clegg, The Drifters, Madonna, Erasure, Phil Collins, Depeche Mode, The Hooters, Journey, Lords of Acid, Wolfsheim, The Cure, Jann Arden, The Hollies, VNV Nation, Leona Lewis, Savage Garden, The BeeGees, The Crystals, Chantel Kreviazuk, The Beach Boys and Elton John.

Tragedy on September 11th

My heart goes out to all the souls who were touched in some way by 9/11. ♥

Today is a day the world will never forget, but I will always remember.

Alternative Health and Therapies

Looking at the calendar, we are only a few days away now from ringing in the New Year; 2010. It's certainly been an interesting year to say the least. Looking from a positive frame of mind, I have really matured a lot and have faced some of my biggest fears and continue to do so. Not every day do I feel raring to go and face reality, but i'm working towards dealing with whatever life throws at me.

When I first started to get sick, I didn't really see much of a future. I felt very upset feeling like a burden on everyone, having huge doubts about why anyone would choose to be with me and just the overall feeling of inadequacy as a girlfriend. 

I now realize that sure I can't do all the things that I used to be able to do and I'm unsure of what lies ahead, but I can be creative and embrace life in a new way, it just might not be in the way of everyone else.

One treatment that I've started up again is acupuncture. I had it done in the past with good results, so I've been going weekly. The needles don't hurt at all since they are not being deeply penetrated in the skin, there is just a tingling sensation in certain spots. It doesn't "cure" my aches, I knew it wouldn't, but I do feel my body is less tense and during the sessions. It could be the placebo effect, but  I can sense negative energy and stress channel out.

Another new addition has been massage therapy, which is recognized by the western medical system and of course, alternative practitioners. My parents are partaking in as well for their individual health issues. It really seems to help my dad’s knee after his fall. To note, this is not to be confused with some of the rub and tug establishments that provide "relaxation" massages. 

I've never been more relieved to have a good healthcare coverage plan, so it is a small miracle to have that benefit now. I’ve had only one session so far and it was wonderful! The RMT said my shoulders, back and legs were really in knots and rightfully so since I have been bed-ridden for months and continue to struggle with lower pain. My next appointment is on Wednesday so I’m looking forward to it.

So long, farewell 2009...

The Beginning of Healing

ying yang - the balance of life

Well this is my first official blog and you may be wondering why on earth I would start it on January 6, 2009 instead of the beginning of the New Year. I guess today’s events which I will fill you in about soon enough, provoked that urge to start one.

So my question to everyone reading this: is love like a piece of Doublemint gum? In front of me, I have a piece of spearmint gum. It’s wrapped up perfectly in its packaging, without a single fray to the edge, tear or crease along the paper. When I pick it up, I gently bring my nose close and sniff. The mint aroma is quite potent and even a little overpowering at first, but the idea of chewing a fresh, new piece of gum is quite exhilarating. The touch of the foil between my fingers feels like a sensation I’ve never even experienced before. I open it up enthusiastically, popping that single piece into my mouth, hoping that it will last forever.

As I’m chewing, I’ll tell you that my day started out just fine and you know that feeling when you are in a good mood, suddenly you get this unexpected surprise that just completely knocks the wind out of you? Well, that's probably an understatement of how I felt until I opened up the newspaper to be greeted by a face I never thought I would have to see again.

Maybe I could say that I felt like a child realizing that Santa Claus actually didn’t exist and their mother or father was actually the one eating those cookies and warm milk. Damn all those carefully constructed letters to the North Pole! 

I don’t know how to explain it properly or exactly how I felt, but at that moment, all the hurt just came flooding back to me. I know that my healing process has been considerable and if only the spirits were kind enough to give me a fair warning so I could have prepared! I guess the joke was on me. Haha…

My original piece of gum that was really soft and making my mouth happy is now getting a bit more difficult to chew and I’m needing to use way more effort now to get the same feeling I had before. It can’t go away this quickly.

So I think I was mentioning that I was dreaming and what I saw was clearly a figment of my imagination, right? I only wish. It was smack dab right in front of me and I just tore up the paper into a million pieces in a sudden fit of rage and threw it in the garbage.

The effort I was using for this gum is not helping much but I continue to chew, hoping it will get better with time. The minty flavour will return, it has to, I’ll just try harder.

After that brief shock, I was able to actually take some time away and have a plentiful lunch. Carbs are a girl’s best friend, screw the diamonds. I’m an emotional eater but I still couldn’t shake the feeling that he was still around.

Then the paranoia set in of will I actually see them in person now? Maybe I shouldn’t ever leave the house again to avoid feeling the pain. I could just have meals delivered to me, shop online for necessities and do distance education classes. Then I had a second to realize how absurd I’m being.

Unrequited love is painful but this went way beyond anything in my wildest dreams, or rather nightmares.

My gum is now stale and I’m ready to toss it away. It kills me to even remember those good moments of chewing, so I rather forget it all. I just want to get rid of this gum for good. I’m happy that I have switched brands, and have the potential of finding a new flavour even. Opening up a new piece will most likely bring back all those pleasant feelings, but let’s hope all the pieces from now on will last much longer.

So obviously I shouldn’t care anymore, but there will probably be parts that will resurface. The pain  will perhaps go away one day. I’ll be able to look back and laugh at all this.

I keep that faith, after all, it's my middle name. One thing I will say though is that with the supposedly comforting phrase of "time heals all wounds" I’d like it to happen already.