"Heard it from a friend who...heard it from a friend who....heard from another you’ve been ..."
If you’re familiar with the classic song Take It On The Run by REO Speedwagon, you’ll know the damage that rumours can do to someone. It can ruin their professional reputation, personal life, and have a devastating ripple effect. Still, people believe what they want to, without even a bat of an eyelash. You can show someone all the facts, all the proof, and they'll turn a blind eye.
There is a part of me that doesn't want to question someone’s integrity or intentions, especially when I’m told something that sounds so convincing and true. However, my rational brain (truly thankful for my husband who continues to help me so much with becoming a more rational person instead of letting my emotions carry me away) tells me s-t-o-p for a minute and sure enough, everything my heart wants to believe so badly is a lie, a filthy lie. It can be heart-wrenching at times, and wrestling with the consequences of knowing. Our brains are fascinating but known to play tricks on us all the time.
My Epiphany
I have cried more during this pandemic, out of frustration, anger, sadness, loneliness, betrayal, the whole gamut, and it’s mainly because I wanted control over what deep down I knew I couldn’t ever control. We are all responsible for our own actions, an apology is meaningless unless you actually acknowledge your part and leave out the unhelpful “but” response. Hardly anyone knows how to do that, and if they do, I am the first person to give them a high five, well a virtual high five at the current time, but you get my drift.
I think the treatment we choose to accept in any part of our lives, really does hold a certain level of power. If we allow others to harm us, we lose confidence in our abilities, we lose a bit more of ourselves, and we get bitter and vengeful. This in turn says to our body, ALERT ALERT, and our cortisol spikes and sets us up for acute issues that can definitely turn into chronic conditions. Living proof of that.
Enlightenment came to me when I realized that it is equally healthy to accept or not accept an apology. There should be no guilt attached. Like everyone else, I am really under no order to proceed with a relationship, a friendship, a business contact, or whatever the case may be. Why? Because I set my limits, and it's finally about me, instead of worrying about what everyone else's expectations are. The only thing we can control is our reaction to what this world throws at us, and that is ultimately what gives me back my power, and maybe you too.
One thing I will hold onto very dearly in 2022 is this quote from Mark Twain, which says it all:
“If you tell the truth, you don't have to remember anything.”
💕Happy holidays to my readers, and I'll see you back here in 2022.
