Puzzled: A New Year Ahead

Our 2023 Holiday Tree

Well hello again to all my readers.  It's been a little while since I last sat down to write a blog. 

Bill surprised me with this assortment of Ceaco Puzzles for my birthday, along with other personal gifts.  I really love all the vibrant colours and the 750 piece scenic one is my favourite. It's ignited some joy that I hope will stay around. We've actually donated several of our other puzzles that we did together, which I hope others are enjoying.  

These will take some time to do, so I'm actually excited to put on some coffehouse jazz music, make a nice cup of tea and sit down and work on these puzzles together over the holidays and into 2024.  Below is what the box looks like.

Ceaco Puzzle - 8 in total!

If I'm going to be totally honest, which is pretty much what you can always expect from me, my inspiration and passion about so many things has dwindled. There's been this void of desire along with on-going fogginess that I can't quite explain that more often than not on most days makes me feel really blah. Not blah blah blah (if you are a fan of Hotel Transylvania, you'll get the reference).  

I know what anxiety feels like and good ol' depression is no stranger either.  However, the feeling is different.  I'm a paradox of thought as it seems as though I am intune with my body, yet I also sense this strong feeling of being disconnected from it. 

I'm now 43, so maybe I'm going through some spiritual shedding.  I don't even know what that means exactly, but the phrase resonates. I also read recently a beautiful quote from writer, Dani Shapiro:"You can start your day over anytime." and that has really stuck in a  positive way. 

A daily reminder to myself and anyone else that might be going through challenges: Eat (balanced/mindfully - treat yourself too) Move (gently) and Rest (recharge). 

As I reflect, 2023 was filled with plenty of lessons as well as blessings.  It was also a pivotal time of honing in on emotional sobriety - my foundation for a happy and healthy existence. 

Living in more calm than entering into unnecessary chaos is a good place to be and what I continue to strive towards each and every day.

A special thank you to those who continue to have their arms open for me, their ears when I need to talk and of course, their hearts. 

~Until next time...

Townhouse Living In Windsor-Essex County

The housing market in Windsor-Essex County has gone completely bonkers! In our area, prices have jumped to at least double or triple its value. It's not slowing down either, as I see homes on the market for only a few days and in a blink of an eye, the sold sign goes up.  I’ve also known more people switching careers and going into real estate than ever before.   

At certain points of our lives, we make choices that feel like a good decision in where we want to live, but then realize, it’s time to pivot in another direction that suits our circumstances more.  What's next for us? I'm not sure. 

Today, I thought I would just talk about my perspective from living in a townhouse complex (or rowhouse as it may be called) for over the last 10+ years with my husband.  After bouncing around with the ideas of whether we wanted a single-family home, condo living or even apartment renting, after viewing a very quaint and cozy townhouse complex, this type of situation made the most sense for our needs.  

Community Belonging. Townhouse living can have quite a community feel since we are all fairly close in proximity to each other and if you're outside for any length of time, someone is bound to strike up a 'hello there'  moment. Although I am a mixed bag of being an introvert and extrovert, I liked the idea of being connected to others in a way that still offered some separation when I needed it.

Maintenance-Free.  We don’t have to deal with the changing of seasons very much, so that means the lawn is taken care of in the warmer months, and the snow plows come when we’re ready to hibernate. This is included in our monthly fees, so we don’t have to go out and buy snowblowers, lawnmowers, which can be added expenses. We also have a central area in each lot for recycling and garbage disposal. No composting bins though, but perhaps that is something to implement in the near future.

Sharing the utility costs.  With the prices of hydro always increasing, paying a monthly maintenance fee that includes all our utility costs seemed like a great concept, and for the most part it is except when people abuse the privilege, which affects all units.  In hind-sight, I would have preferred to pay our own utilities and monitor our usage with individual meters for each unit.  Most townhouse complexes especially the newly-built ones are not all-inclusive, so we may be the only one left as of 2022, unless something changes.

Privacy. Can you hear that?  Well, the connected walls are pretty thin here. So whether there’s an argument going on, a child crying, singing loudly in the shower or someone who really likes to put on their surround sound system late at night, you can hear it all.  Now granted, most neighbours are considerate and quiet, but that is part of the living arrangement to deal with especially as new people move in and out. 

Mobility. Stairs, stairs and more stairs.  A good workout going from the main level to upstairs and then the basement. However, it’s a lot to deal with and as the candles get blown out each year, stairs become cumbersome.  Of course, there is the option of putting chair-lifts in.

Parking Lot Accessibility.  We don’t have garages, so cars stay in designated parking lot areas. Everyone receives one parking spot, if you have additional vehicles, you need to pay extra to obtain another spot.  For many,  not having a garage is fine, but if you have a business where you are transporting equipment on a regular basis and don’t live right next to the lot you’re in, this may pose a bit of a problem.

So as you can see, there are pros and cons. Whether you’re looking to downsize or wanting a different change of scenery to embrace townhouse living, I hope this gave you some insight on what it can entail and whether it might be right for you!  

💜I would love to hear about what you type of housing you are in currently, what prices are like in your neck of the woods, so feel free to drop me a note.

Goalie: Keep Your Stick On The Ice

Everyone has their own view of what an athlete is worth, but the coach ultimately determines who goes onto the ice and who sits on the bench.

The life of professional hockey goalie, Terry Sawchuk, shows the extreme highs and lows of being a sports superstar.  After a while, that shot of whisky doesn’t even come close to touching the pain and all the cheers once heard from the crowds become silent.

In this Canadian biography, Goalie; Mark O’Brien plays the legendary goalie for The Red Wings (while also being traded for other teams throughout his career), Terry Sawchuk. No matter what sport you play, there is always a level of uncertainty that this may be your last game. Terry never stopped playing even through over 400 stitches and countless injuries. As blood dripped down from his face in the locker room, he still laced up his skates and went out there to perform. Some may say his dedication was an unhealthy obsession brewing from a very dysfunctional childhood, while others see him as their hero out doing what he was paid to do, like any career.

Not having any protective gear, like a face mask for a goalie seemed absolutely absurd because of the aggressive nature of hockey, but it was the norm. Terry started wearing his mask in the early 60’s, and it was only in 1966 that full protective face masks were standard equipment hockey.

The film is deeply saddening, but shows the impact that Terry left on many people who knew him from team-mates to family. There is one moment on the subject of friendship that is literally heart-breaking.  The acting was great though, as Mark O’Brien delivers a wonderful performance as well as Kevin Pollak, who played his ill-tempered coach, Jack Adams.

All the accolades, like four Stanley Cup wins and 103 shut-out victories are impressive, but this tragic story is one that begs the question, does the goalie always have to go first?

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You can also find my review at 519 Windsor:  https://519magazine.com/movie-review-goalie-keep-your-stick-on-the-ice/

Gary Gulman – The Great Depresh

Depression is a complicated beast. It has the ability to change how you think, how you feel and how you act.  It slowly sucks away any bit of joy that comes into your life and leaves a cloud of despair and darkness. For many, it may be a fleeting episode, for others, it’s a condition that needs life-long monitoring.  Depression feels like a child-like proof medicine bottle that you want to throw across the room because it won’t budge no matter what you do. Add in the waves of anxiety, and it’s just a whole barrel of fun complete with an on-going shower of sweat and many reps of pacing back and forth. At least it’s some sort of exercise, right?  Ya, not exactly the cardio workout one would wish for.

Gary Gulman is an American Jewish Comic that has battled anxiety as well as crippling depression for years in silence but has recently opened up and found that laughter can be the very best medicine. In his comedy special: The Great Depresh, Gary talks candidly about the dark times in his life, telling stories of his bullied youth, sharing the a-z list of antidepressants that sound like a Dr. Seuss rhyme, experimenting with electro-convulsive therapy, and ultimately choosing symptoms like dry mouth over death.  Sade, his wife, has watched Gary through the highs and lowest of lows. She goes to appointments with him, and along side their fur-family, gives Gary the unconditional love and support that he needs.

I won’t spoil anymore. There is some self-deprecating humour that you can take or leave, and you can’t help but just love Gary’s mom, Barbara. Through a documentary-style with bits of stand-up performance, it’s still an emotional journey of laughter and tears that I think is important to embrace.

To you Gary, for all your hard work in dealing with something that seems sometimes bigger than you can even handle, and to let everyone know that we’re not alone for the ride, I raise a glass of Sprite and say l’chaim, to life!

Check out Gary's website and social media sites below, and let’s hope that the depresh can be kept in remish.

💜Official "The Great Depresh" Trailer

💜Website: http://www.garygulman.com

💜Facebook

2019 Suicide Prevention Awareness Training: SafeTALK

When was the last time you thought about suicide? Maybe it was just a fleeting thought, but it still creeps up in your mind when life gets too overwhelming. Perhaps you know someone who told you recently they didn't want to live anymore, or the sad reality that you actually lost a wonderful person to suicide because you didn't have any knowledge to even know how to help in the first place. It's okay, you're not to blame. We're human.

Let's change from not knowing to being empowered. Let's keep each other safe. I would highly recommend taking SafeTALK the next time it is available. Being an alert helper can really make a huge difference in someone's life.

Thank you Canadian Mental Health Association - Windsor.

Check out the Suicide Prevention Awareness Training offered here for 2019. https://windsoressex.cmha.ca/progr…/mental-health-promotion/

I will be taking the ASIST training in November, so I'd love it if anyone wanted to join me for this 2-day training!

.#SuicidePrevention2019 #YouAreNotAlone

Our Wedding: 1 Month Till I Do

Officially now at the 1 month mark until we say 
"I do!" 

This non-bogus celebration will be like no other. We will be travelling back in time to the tubular 80's. There will be special appearances from 80's movies characters that are so choice, some rad Flashy trivia, a delicious bodacious buffet-style dinner, and even movie-inspired appetizers and desserts! You can try your hand at classic board and card games. Like totally! The night will end with popcorn and a righteous classic 80's movie.

*Edited version for those who don't speak 80's*

This non-traditional celebration will be like no other. We will be travelling back in time to the 1980's era. There will be special appearances from 80's movies characters for photo-opportunities, some Flashy trivia with prizes, a delicious buffet-style dinner, and even movie-inspired appetizers and desserts! You can try your hand at classic board and card games. The night will end with popcorn and a classic romantic and fun 80's movie picked especially by Melissa.

Asiatic Lilly

All of a sudden, this Asiatic Lilly bloomed in our front yard. A gentle reminder to cherish the moments. 

As Ferris Bueller so eloquently stated:

"Life moves pretty fast.  If you don't stop and look around once in a while, you could miss it."

This is for my Dad.

Countdown to 2018.

My favourite quote from the film, Love Actually. These words that still holds true to this day. 

It's worth sharing.

"Whenever I get gloomy with the state of the world, I think about the arrivals gate at Heathrow Airport. General opinions starting to make out that we live in a world of hatred and greed, but I don't see that. It seems to me that love is everywhere. Often, it's not particularly dignified or newsworthy, but it's always there - fathers and sons, mothers and daughters, husbands and wives, boyfriends, girlfriends, old friends."

Wishing everyone a safe and Happy New Year!

My Love Book

Over the last several years, life has been rather challenging and I'll honestly say that not every day is great, but I am learning to cope. It's a slow process and if you've been reading my blog, you're getting a glimpse into some of what I've had to deal with, both with physical pains and emotional ones, as well as all the different things I'm doing with trying to heal.

I think for many of us, we get those moments where we feel really useless, maybe not as a person, but due to the fact that we cannot be the ball of energy that we used to be. Dishes don't get done, laundry doesn't get put away, and trying to have a job never mind a thriving career seems futile because we just never know how we are feeling from day-to-day.  There are moments when I feel like I am contributing nothing to my relationship and then I give my head a good shake, pop open this book, and realize that despite my issues, I'm awesome, just like you are incredible in your own way too!

This Love Book that Bill created to celebrate our 9 year anniversary back in September, reaffirms not only how much he loves and appreciates me, but that we complement each other wonderfully.  A lot of the pages are personal and I tell you that tears well up in my eyes every time I read it!

Here it is, enjoy!

Love Book from Bill.

Custom Music: "Sunrise" by Bill Nuvo

If you want to create your own personalized lovebook for someone special, just follow the link here and get started: https://lovebookonline.com/

Mental Health: Pushing forward into the unknown.

It’s been a strange past few months. I can’t quite put my finger on it, but something has felt very off. Maybe I could blame the cosmos. What happens to us when our heart flutters, our mind races and sleep becomes disruptive? I feel like maybe at some points each of us could be extras on The Walking Dead. No need to worry though, it's just our friendly neighbour anxiety; the growing epidemic plaguing us all. 

The horrible feeling that creeps up when you think you finally have a grasp on this thing called life, only to have you catapult into a mess of over-exaggerated emotional turmoil and physical discomfort that make you wonder if something is seriously wrong.

Why do we really try when we know that we're going to fail miserably, or at least that’s what our mind tells us.  Oh and yes let's beat ourselves up and never give credit for accomplishing huge hurdles. I think we all want the same things in life and to surpass unfortunate visitors who try to claim our well-being. "They taught you lessons in life.” Yeah, I don't think we needed the lessons, I never needed them, but you can't always get what you want. These experiences can make us more hyper-vigilant sometimes to perceived threatening situations. I believe learning to become resilient is one of the best tools for our mental-health toolbox, but one that is very hard to acquire without constant modification.

Don't we all just want someone to love us?  To find someone who is proud of us, and won't hide us from the rest of the world. The beautiful life is and will always be subjective, but the desire to look forward to growing old gracefully in each other’s arms seems comforting and not all that far-fetched. However, in the flux of self-loathing and self-empowerment, it's like we ask for too much, yet settle too long for much too little.  We live with those painful scars, the fleeting moments of happiness, and that constant whisper that we are never good enough for anything or anybody.

Then we have friendships. Sometimes we build long-lasting connections and other times, we grow apart. The growing envy takes over as you see others who have held onto friendships since their childhood or even high school years, while you cannot even keep a gold fish alive for more than a few months. For some of us, we make the conscious effort to avoid taking graduation photos for the year book and our silhouette on the page has the caption underneath "missing in action." Why even bother attending graduation either, just to put on a smiling face, hug everyone and share all the wonderful memories that never happened? Yep, we are not all hypocrites.

Even in adulthood now, it’s the same drama, people are just older, more jaded, less educated, and popping out kids they regret, with the only consolation of getting into a drunken stupor to forget how pathetic their lives really are. Talk about soul-draining.  Then you get the phony bologna's who are sweet to your face, act like their lives are perfect, and back-stab you in the worst possible ways. We love them dearly (note my dripping sarcasm) because we strive not to ever be like them.

My trust meter is low and so I have disconnected myself a bit in order to process all the thoughts and feelings and to allow much needed rest and space.

"Love is like a barren place, and reaching out for human faith is like a journey I just don't have a map for." - Savage Garden-To The Moon And Back

September passed, then came October, followed now by November. Maybe we are all going through an existential crisis and not aware of it. The feelings could be very subtle or just take hold tightly and our fight-flight response is in limbo. It will pass, just like hours in a day.

I’m turning 36 years old in a few weeks, and I feel like life has passed me by.  Feelings though don't equal facts, which is often a tough pill to swallow. In reality, I know that I have accomplished a lot so far and will continue to make strides, even if they are itty bitty ones right now.  It may not be the same accomplishments that other people can gloat about, but my achievements and sacrifices do mean something.

I don't think we should ever hide who we are.  I know that the only limits I have are the ones that I put on myself. It's a long and daunting process to begin again, but well worth it.  I'm trying to explore, live more freely and make life purposeful on my own terms.

The wavering support that one may get in life shouldn't be diminished.

Thanks for reading.

2015 Holiday Musings.

It has certainly been a challenging year, to say the least. I am happy to say that my Dad is still with us and he is doing very well.  I intended to document a lot of my feelings throughout this ordeal, but you can understand the level of physical and mental exhaustion that I was faced with.  I could not shake the feelings swirling around in my mind.

I am grateful for the outpouring support and love that we received from family and friends, but also from people we rarely even knew. Strangers can be so oddly comforting.  I was also able to keep my faith alive in a situation that was so devastating and needed a miracle.

If you're just finding my blog now, my Dad fell critically ill with a rare encephalitis virus that ended up attacking his brain. Our lives got turned upside down so quickly that I felt maybe I was just stuck in a terrible nightmare. Nope, reality hit hard, but fortunately, with all the help that we received, my Dad survived.

My Dad, happy to be celebrating my 35th birthday at Casey's. 

As cliche as it sounds, life is short. If you haven't gone through some sort of devastating moment, you are lucky...or perhaps unlucky, since every experience teaches you something good or bad, heck, perhaps a mixture of both.  You really never know what is going to happen from one moment to the next. It's exhilarating and terrifying, all at the same time.

I try and make the most of each day. I am still battling my traumas, yet trying to survive and continue my journey of helping others. I'm not perfect. I make mistakes.  I continue to deal with disappointments and fleeting friendships. I used to be certain on so many things, but today, I am full of uncertainty, and I know that's ok.

I do not want to let a day go by wishing "if only" because

"If only...is a wish too late."

Updates and spiritual greetings

I apologize for not blogging. If you've been following along, you know that back before Christmas 2014, my dad was stricken with a virus called Encephalitis, which caused severe inflammation in his brain. Chances are 2 in a million, but the amazing team of specialists at Hotel Dieu hospital were able to help save his life. Since getting out of the hospital, my dad has made great strides of improvement.

Looking at the date; May 15, 2015, my dad is still with us and recovering well. I will write more about the last several months in future posts.  Right now, we are in the process of moving my parents out of their three-story home, into a smaller yet lovely one-floor townhouse. There is a basement, but that's used for storage. It is a huge transition, but one that is needed, not only for my dad, but so my mom can take care of him without dealing with all the maintenance that comes with home ownership. A plus is that we met several of the neighbours, and they are extremely friendly and welcoming.

My parents house sold in less than a week! Buckingham Realty rocks.

New home in Tecumseh. Welcome to condo living!

My dad just turned 70 yesterday, and driving to the house, I caught a glimpse of this gorgeous rainbow cloud. 

The spirits in the sky were saying Happy Birthday! :)

That's it for now. I will update again soon.  Thanks to all my readers for such kind words and messages.  

Oh and just so you know, when my dad took permanent leave, as a writer for Windsor Square, I decided to take that path as well. My musings will continue to be on Blogger from this point on, so once things settle down, you'll get to enjoy some more restaurant, movie and product reviews from me. 

Ed Arditti: Never Give Up (Family Motto)

The virus that attacked my dad's brain at the end of 2014 could have taken him away from us. Thankfully, he is still with us and progressing day-by-day.

Bill took this photo on Sunday. My dad's smile lights up the room (and his shirt lol). Oh and yep, he is 40 lbs lighter.

We love you Dad.

Movie Review: 15 Reasons To Live

Have you ever made a list? Of course you have, whether it is a grocery list, general to-do list, or even the elusive bucket-list, these lists show a piece of our identity. In the film, 15 Reasons To Live, director Alan Zweig converses with many eclectic people who share their own reasons for existing. Positively stirred up by author, Ray Robertson’s collection of essays “Why Not? 15 Reasons to Live,” Alan takes a real look at the themes pertaining to love, intoxication, humour, solitude, work, duty, home and death.

15 Reasons To Live 

In a forth-right, yet conversational style, Alan goes beyond just the surface level of interviewing, allowing an honest platform for each person to share a personal story or memory as they vividly remember it.

Meet a young and inquisitive girl who is the constant literal punching bag at her Catholic school and is kicked out, due to not partaking in rituals and her questionable faith. Experience the life of an overwhelmed mother of five, who oddly finds sanctuary people-watching in a busy shopping mall.

Next, against all odds, after a serious stroke, an older man uses his determination to learn how to read again, even if it takes an entire day to read one single page of a book. A wealthy Chinese man is stuck in an unfulfilling career that keeps him in a depressive and suicidal state, until moving to Canada, where he is given a second lease on life and finds his true calling as a massage therapist.

There are also plenty of other stories to embrace, as the film carries on, in a slow but methodical pace.

I would definitely recommend viewing this film with your heart and mind fully open. Encounter some fascinating human miracles. The gambit of emotions that is felt throughout the film might seem like a pendulum, but I think that is truly what Alan was hoping for.

It’s all about taking a deeper look inside of our souls, asking questions that seem on some level beyond what we could fathom of explain to another person. It is also about the collective experience, sharing our memories, wisdom, and opportunities for growth and change, which keeps us in tune with the world that we live in and those that we hold a special place for to accompany us through life.

In the final moments of the film, it is evident that by listening to each story, and seeing each person through a different pair of eyes, our similarities outweigh our differences, and we are all connected.

10 Month Anniversary

I love you!

At the Beginning - Richard Marx & Donna Lewis