Trying A New Position: Everlasting Comfort Memory Foam Pillow Review

I'm no stranger to working from home, but with Covid happening, I am pretty much at my computer doing work all day, every day. I also deal with complex pain conditions, which can hinder productivity and just leave my body not feeling like a happy camper.  I was using a cardboard box under my desk to elevate my feet up until this point, which was probably a horrible idea, so I think I've learned my lesson.

I was pretty excited to receive this Memory Foam Foot Rest Pillow in the mail from Everlasting Comfort. This pillow is designed to help with circulation of the legs and feet, arch support, hip pain, and overall posture support. Another great feature about this pillow is that the cover unzips fully so you can wash it easily.

Unpackaged

 

My comfy and supported feet

It also has this great non-slip bottom here and this side can be a rocker for your feet. Also note the zipper for easy removal to wash

Since it is also multi-purpose, you can use it underneath your knees while you are laying down - I like this when I am doing my meditation.

One issue I was a bit concerned about from some reviews is that the pillow was too squishy and didn't retain its shape as claimed. However, from my use so far, it hasn't lost its shape nor is too soft at all. It's an ideal firmness. 

I've been using it now for a while and I am liking it a lot and finding reduced amounts of pain in my feet and legs. The "rocker" part when flipped over didn't feel comfortable for me. However, I don't really like a lot of rocking motion to begin with, but I can see it being beneficial for others!  

PROS

✔Reduction of achy tired legs and feet while at the computer

✔Improves circulation in legs and feet

✔Non-slip (so important, you don't want to be slip-sliding away!)

✔Retains its ergonomic tear-dropped shape

✔Helps with posture

✔Good quality

CONS:

None so far

So overall, I would definitely recommend purchasing and trying out the Everlasting Memory Foam Foot Rest Pillow for  yourself.  If someone in your life has any pain conditions, an even better gift to give!  The gift of supporting someone's health goes a long way.

I also really like how the company has an excellent support team, so if you have questions, concerns or feel unsatisfied with your purchase, they'll make it right.  To me, this is extremely important and either makes or breaks my relationship with a brand/company.

Now my posture could be improved even more, perhaps with the lumbar support cushion that they have, so that might be the next item I have my eye on!

💜 Check out all the great items on their website: https://www.everlastingcomfort.net/

💜Show them some love on Facebook & Instagram

Break The Cycle: He Won’t Buy You Flowers Anymore

Photo by Melissa F. Arditti

There is a time and a place for everything and so let me preface by saying that this blog is not meant to discourage anyone from buying a bouquet of flowers for their loved one or slamming the notion that the purchase of flowers equates abuse.

This is only through the words of a survivor on what it feels like being in an abusive situation and the symbolism of what “flowers” can represent.

It is well-known that males (and to be inclusive - as well as those who identify as something else) experience abuse too in many different forms. Specifically for men, it is often under-reported and many feel ashamed from a societal point of view to ever come forward. It is slow change to break the stigma that men are still viewed as “disposable.”  They are not and need protection as well.

This writing is from a female perspective. In the end, you can find the strength. You make the choice to leave and walk away, or you choose to give someone else the power and be carried away.

Thank you for taking the time to read this.


He Won’t Buy You Flowers Anymore

The feeling of anxiety creeps up as another long day at work is now over. The familiar footsteps are heard, as the keys rattle the door, and you brace yourself because it all begins again.

You feel the quiver, as his lips touch your cheek.

"These are for you."

He hands you the most beautiful arrangement of flowers.

“I’m sorry, it won’t happen again, I promise.”

He gives you that reassuring smile and you look up at him with doe eyes and in a split second, he has you hooked.

You believe him. He loves you. Everything this time will be okay.  He’s changed.

Another lonely night. He won’t call or text, or let you know when he’ll be home. You look at your flowers laying on the floor. You remember his words, they echo in your ears.

“You’re stupid.”
“You’re worthless.” 
“What good are you to me?”

You get down on both knees and start cleaning up the shattered glass vase he broke right in front of you. Tears stream down your face and for the first time now, you can feel the sting, the burn of his forceful slap against the cheek he kissed you on which seemed like only days ago.

He finally comes home.  You grow angrier. You muster the courage to tell him to leave and that you won’t put up with his behaviour anymore.

He begs you to stay and gets down on one knee and sobs uncontrollably. He tells you:

“It won’t happen again,  I’m really sorry.” 
“You can’t leave me. I’ll die without you.”

You forgive him.  He’ll change. He promised you.

You look in the mirror and notice your matching bruises. One starts to fade and another appears, and another and another... In the corner of your eye, you see another set of flowers. You close the bathroom light and go over to the vase and smell the aroma of fresh cut flowers. A note is attached:

“I’m sorry, I love you.”

The words I love you hit you like a ton of bricks. You feel validated and you know he’s sorry. This is just a rough patch, you’ll get through it. He’s a good person. Maybe you need to try harder.

That familiar voice inside your head screams out: Maybe you just need to leave.

Terrified he may find you.
Wishing things could go back to how they once were.
Scared of being alone.
No one to trust.
Afraid of not having anywhere to go. 

"It was the hope of all we might have been, that fills me with the hope to wish impossible things."

-The Cure, To Wish Impossible Things

You make the choice to listen and never look back.

Now they will finally hear you.

“Another ditch in the road, you keep moving. Another stop sign, you keep moving on. And the years pass by so fast, wonder how I ever made it through.” 

- Savage Garden, Two Beds and a Coffee Machine

The act of giving or receiving flowers can represent a slew of positive emotions. When someone is sick, sunflowers can brighten their day, a big accomplishment deserves some and take note that even a simple apology might warrant your favourite flowers. There is also the notion of flowers for no reason, which can be a delight to somebody you appreciate, respect and love.

Flowers are not meant to be used as a manipulative tool but it is sadly a very common occurrence in many abusive relationships and if you’re a hopeful romantic, sometimes it is those small gestures that keep you hooked into the cycle. Those vibrant beauties are warped into representing ugliness and for the abuser, gives permission to physically or sexually assault, threaten the worth of the other person, and ultimately gain complete and total control so that you cannot ever leave. Crocodile tears are often part of the never-ending cycle that fills you full of guilt and willing to give yet another chance.

"You have no power over me!" Labyrinth

If you or someone you love is struggling with an abusive situation, here are some resources to help guide you in right direction. Note these are local resources to the Windsor-Essex area, but you can follow the links on the website to access information and find out how you can get assistance in your designated location.

https://www.wrh.on.ca/SADVTC

https://www.hiatushouse.com/services.html

https://windsoressex.cmha.ca/
24-Hour Crisis Line: 519-973-4435

Physiotherapy: Why "I Love You" Makes a Difference

Well it’s been over a month or so of intense physiotherapy and I am seeing some improvements with my pain levels, not to mention my flexibility. Strength, well that ranges from day to day. Sometimes I can easily open up a jar and other times “Bill, can you come please help open this!”  Side note: one of the best presents Bill ever got me for the kitchen: This gadget rocks when i'm solo and no one is around to assist me: Easy Twist Jar Opener

My personalized physiotherapy program was designed exactly for the issues that I asked for help with, along with problems that they saw when I did my assessments. I won’t go into a ton of detail on what I’m doing because it may not be what you are actually needing for your own recovery. I will though include some parts that I think are really helpful for everyone, but I would encourage you to book a consultation to assess your individual needs. 

For pelvic floor physiotherapy, you need to be comfortable with your physiotherapist. If you’re not, it’s going to be a clenching fiasco, which for most of us who suffer with tight pelvic floor muscles is a nightmare.  The internal exam and on-going internal “work” is really important. I did ask Catherine if she sees patients who forgo the internal part and she said yes, but when that is the case, there is only so much she can do. 

I’m past the point of being shy. I cannot count how many specialists have seen my tush and other intimate areas. It still is a bit of a source of trauma for me on an emotional level because of what I have been through, but in order to heal, those trigger points inside need to get some much needed tlc and external only does so much.  I am doing a lot of work at home because let’s not kid ourselves, therapy is expensive. My coverage has ran out for the year and so everything now is paying out of pocket.  This is why I am really happy with my time at Physiofit because they realize that we’re not all money trees. I have plenty of exercises to do daily at home between visits, so it’s kind of like Santa Claus knowing if you are awake or have been good or bad (not in the same creepy way though). The physio team knows if their clients have been diligent in the exercises or slacking.

Just some of the exercises that I do on a daily basis at home and also at Physiofit (amongst others that they have special equipment for). I get assessed and different exercises get put in and others get taken out, depending on how my body is responding and what they think I should work on next.

Now for the physiotherapy part that doesn’t involve any internal work, there is still a lot of parts of the body that I knew I had some pain but didn’t realize the difference when I started to activate those muscles properly.  Posture, a big one. I have “sitting syndrome” which I think a lot of us can relate to, whether we’ve worked in jobs that have us sitting a majority of the day or have been in bed-ridden situations where our muscles just become very weak from lack of movement.  My upper back is super duper tight, which is part of the area where I hold my stress, and so with the all the targeted exercises I have been doing, I can really feel a positive difference and Bill also uses his magical hands when i'm really achy. Incorporating everything and also making the time to book massages, which works well for me.

I recall my first time on the treadmill, which has been my warm-up, and I didn’t realize how much I swayed with my hips and shoulders. Being aware of these things helps to break the habit, although most of us probably don’t even realize that we’re walking incorrectly and causing so much extra pain.  The best part though is investing your time with a professional team and giving a whole stack of effort, it can get better.

Now I am sure you are wondering about my title of “I love you” and how that relates to this blog.  While positive words of affirmation are always encouraged, I am actually referring to a specific exercise that I have been taught a few times now called the I love you massage.  This helps with cramps, gas, constipation, and all those fun digestive symptoms. I have a video here to show you basically how it’s done. It may not work the first time for you, or the second, but keep at it. It’s simple to do and really helps to move things along. Some videos you will see show immediate relief, but from my own experiences, it can take a few hours to even overnight. It just depends on how congested my body is. 

A great video that shows how the technique is done.

I am doing a lot of other things along with physiotherapy, so i'll have another blog up on those details soon!

As always, thank you for the on-going support.

If you have any questions, feel free to connect with me over e-mail, leave a comment on my blog or find me on Facebook.

ABC's OF SELF CARE & PAIN MANAGEMENT

“We are meant to move” echoes through my head every day. After starting  physiotherapy, I realize the importance of posture and movement on a daily basis. No matter how much you can do, some sort of movement is better than being completely sedentary.

Although I struggle a great deal with mental health issues, especially health anxiety, I am always reminded not to always take life too seriously. Life is full of uncertainty and we cannot control everything. It’s a tough pill to swallow. The more we try and control the uncontrollable, the worse our bodies and minds become. We get into a perpetual state of fear. It is true that good things happen to bad people, and bad things happen to good people. I think a prime example is the Las Vegas tragedy. Were the innocent people at the wrong place at the wrong time? Maybe...but still, many people will continue to travel there and even stay at the hotel, not really even thinking twice about it. Does that mean they don’t care? Of course not, it just means that these events do not dictate their happiness. I know getting in that mind frame is easier said than done, trust me, but let’s just focus on today because we have minimal control over what happens tomorrow.

I compiled my own little ABC self care and pain survival note that I hope some may find helpful.  It has some of my quirky side in there and I tried to address aspects of physical, emotional and spiritual distress.

You can print this out for a daily reminder, keep it in your email folder or phone. Feel free to share  this post too!

THE ABC’s OF PAIN MANAGEMENT

Accept responsibility. This is a big one, as we often blame external factors which make us even more depressed.

Believe in yourself.  I know...a bunch of new-age mumbo-jumbo, but feeling good about yourself can really boost your serotonin levels, which greatly affects mood. 

Calm down.  Many of us who battle with pain tend to panic a lot and a few deep breaths can make a world of difference. As Drew Barrymore said, in the film Ever After, "Just Breathe."

De-clutter.  Whether it’s one room at a time, get rid of stuff you don’t need. Sell, donate, give to friends. Surrounding yourself with clutter keeps you stuck. It's like having peanut butter stuck to the roof of your mouth permanently.

Engage in meaningful friendships. I think this speaks for itself. If you have a friend who always calls you for help, but never checks in to see how you’re doing, probably best to let that person go. Yes, we all lead busy lives, but a simple “hey i’m thinking of ya” goes a long way. 

F*ck it!  Yep, sometimes it’s okay to admit defeat and throw your covers over your head and call it a day.

Get away from technology. It's tough, but well worth it to just put your electronics aside for even a few hours. Establish a routine to close down your devices. Unless you have a job that requires you to be constantly connected (if so, maybe it's time to consider a career switch if that is a main stressor for you) no one is going to hate you for missing a "like" on a post about their dinner foodie pic or newest outfit. If they do, you better get a new circle of friends.

Hold on. Whether you’re an amateur cook or like to dabble in photography, find time to do something you are passionate about, so you can hold onto those memories.

Invest. I’m not talking about stocks, but your own well-being. Get that check-up that you've been putting off for months, treat yourself to a therapeutic massage, take a bubble bath, whatever makes you feel good.

Jump around.  Again, movement people!

Kill time. When you’re in pain, it feels like a single day can just drag on. Stop looking at the clock and maybe play a few rounds of Candy Crush. By the time you know it, it will be night time. That game is SO addictive!

Laugh.  Often we cry too much, so how about a few good laughs, eh?

Make a sandwich. Seems odd, I know, but your body may be reacting because its simply hungry.

Naked time.  Any form of intimacy can benefit us, from a simple snuggle to orgasmic pleasure.

Observe your surroundings. Being mindful can help ease stress and won't leave you in a state of chaos and confusion.

Praise yourself. Not everything can get done in a day when you’re unwell. Your to-do list may be a mile long but accomplishing just one thing can feel very rewarding. 

Quit it.  Don’t beat yourself up over things that are totally out of your control.

Relax. Sometimes our bodies are just screaming for us to RELAX. Frankie knows.

Sleep.  The benefits are endless when you are able to have a good night’s rest. Zzzzz

Turn up the music! Play your favourite artist/band. Abba never put anyone in a bad mood.  

Understand this too shall pass. Wise words and very true.

Volunteer. One of the best feelings in the world is knowing that I am making a difference in someone’s life. I am proud to be part of  CMHA.  Whether it’s a weekly, monthly, or whenever you can commitment, give back to your community.

Wake up.  Yesterday sucked, but today is another day, right? Right.

X - plain yourself. None of us are mind-readers and brain-fog is damn real, so clear communication is essential.

Yes! You don’t have to always be a “yes man” but from time to time, say yes to a new experience.

Zip it.  We can all have mean streaks, but words can really sting. Sometimes, especially if you know someone is going through a really rough patch, instead of lashing out, walk away and enjoy the silence.

**As always, what works for one may not help another. Be mindful and choose your self-care activities that work for YOU.