Are you part of the 9-9-6 culture? This means that you work from 9 a.m. to 9 p.m., six days a week. This has been the typical life for many employees (particularly in China) up until a ruling made this practice illegal.
We still have though social media blood-hounds trying to tell us we need “more” of everything, showing us the grandiose lifestyle they are living, lavish cars that they never drive and just use for IG reels and photo ops, multi-million dollar homes, and of course the dream vacations. So is it any wonder why we’re in such a mess as a society?
There’s a difference between being successful and the illusion of success. We can play around with those ideas and fool people brilliantly, and one never knows the truth... until they do. Sometimes we can even lose sight of who we are and lose the things that are truly important, like our health, real friendships/relationships and community involvement.
In my elementary school days, I had a teacher who wanted to "mentor" me and encouraged after-class sessions, it started with just an hour or two, and then became longer and longer, to the point where all I was doing was studying what he was giving me to learn. I would get nowhere in life without dedicating myself entirely to this, he said. I would be quizzed over and over and over, to the point of exhaustion. I was being brain-washed with ideologies that made no sense, yet I got an early dose of what someone wanted to tell me was the way to be successful. A very scary time.
If you’ve seen The Wedding Singer, you’ll recall this
scene where Adam Sandler tries to become what he falsely believes Julia wants, in order to show her that he can provide the dream life too.
“No, sir, I have no experience but I'm a big fan of money. I like it, I use it, I have a little. I keep it in a jar on top of my refrigerator. I'd like to put more in that jar. That's where you come in.”
I noticed my own workaholic pattern because it felt like a way to escape. Money, it solves everything, except when it doesn’t. I was physically and mentally exhausted from life and had no idea what to do about it. This pattern continued on for many years and then to add yet another layer of stress, I was thrown blindly into the care-giving role. “Work” took on an entirely different meaning.
There is a dark message that continues to perpetuate of the meaning of “success.” It keep the guru’s making their billions, sleeping on the finest silk sheets at night, jet-setting to their private islands, and selling their latest MLM and get-rich-quick schemes, while so many are struggling to even pay their monthly bills. These people play on our fears, our insecurities and set unrealistic expectations that we still tend to blindly follow.
I don’t want to be part of what I often hear as the hustle culture, the success addicts - to me, this is all a recipe for total burnout. But, it’s hard to escape it, as I do a lot of freelance work in industries that continue to normalize it, so awareness is key not to fall into the trap.
I can only speak for myself on a few tips that I have incorporated that really help out in my life and keep me grounded.
💜Take Physical Inventory –I go through my home on a regular basis and ask “Have I used this in the past 6 months?” “Is this still bringing me joy?” If not, I put it in a bin and send it on its way. Depending on the item, I could sell it, donate it, or just put up a post on my socials and offer it free to anyone on my list. If you struggle with getting rid of things, hire someone to help in this laborious task or get a trusted family member or friend to help. No judgment-zone.
💜Bring Out The Best In Me, Not The Beast – Being with people who are like-minded has been a game changer especially through this pandemic. Although I can appreciate different perspectives, winding down socially needs to be simple. I want to laugh, smile and feel valued with the company I am surrounded by, not feel like I’m walking on egg shells or can’t truly be myself.
💜Community Engagement –We have so many local organizations in need, whether it's 1x a week, a month, or just whenever you can, reach out to one and see what opportunities interest you. They would really appreciate it a lot. Finding organizations that I feel connected to has been very fulfilling.
💜Become Rational - Getting out of my head and seeing things from a more logical perspective has helped tremendously in how I deal with life. Sometimes that "gut feeling" is really strong but there is certain level of hindsight bias, or also known as the knew-it-all-along phenomenon, to consider. I need that nudge to think rational because I am by nature a very emotional person. When I can look at things without the emotions attached, I find that I don't question my decisions as often and I feel in control.
Although we've been in a pandemic, moving forward, I never want to be that person who is too busy to meet a friend for lunch, or can’t put their phone away to spend time with their partner. I am a very hard worker and ask anyone, I give 100% on every project I take on, but I know my limits.
Of course, having money is an important part of life, to feed us, put a roof over our head, pay for medical necessities, and yes, having some luxuries is welcome too, as we all want nice things, BUT, it shouldn't consume us. That’s the message we should be sending out. When you make it about *everything* that’s where you may end up losing your life.
The only hustle I intend to do will happen on the dance floor.
