The Kegel Dilemma: Pelvic Floor Dysfunction

For those of us who have chronically tight muscles, do kegels help or harm our condition? Common sense tells me that if you try and tighten an already restrictive area, it will cause more tension, but others stress that some that have tight pelvic muscles also have weak areas, in which kegels assist in strengthening the pelvic floor overall.

Pelvic Floor Info

The pain that a lot of us with PFD have can be excruciating at times. It's like a rubber band is tied to your abdomen, hips and pelvis and it won't let go. It's still a mystery as to what causes this. Some professionals in various fields of study state sexual abuse or other traumatic stressful events can contribute because many hold onto the pain and tighten up as defense or safety mechanism, others say it's an abnormality at birth, physical trauma, and the list goes on and on. Whatever the reason(s) may be, I know that this condition is physically and mentally draining.


I have good days and bad days. We take for granted simple every day occurrences like having a normal bowel movement or just putting on pants! Until you are not able to do these things properly, it doesn't really enter your mind. I miss the days of being able to wear tights or even a bathing suit. I haven't gone swimming in years and I used to love being in the water. Anything too tight against me feels like a knife. Sometimes I catch myself staring a little too long at women who are wearing cute leggings. I'm not a creep, I swear, i'm just envious of your abilities to wear what I can't.

After going through a plethora of testing, my last MRI came back all clear and so my gastro doc said that I should try physiotherapy again because based on my symptoms, my muscles are probably not contracting properly and I need the "internal" work.  I am doing a number of other things, which I can discuss later in another blog.

I will say that finding someone who specializes in PFD here in Windsor, Ontario has been a struggle. I've scoured website after website and only found 2.  I'm at a loss that if this is such a common condition, why aren't there more therapists offering the service in the area? Probably because most of us don't want to talk about it. When you have back/knee/leg pain, everyone gets it, but intimate areas, you kind of shy away from discussing. I get it, but maybe if we did talk more about this, we can educate others and reduce the number of misdiagnoses.  I know when I look up London and the surrounding areas, and even as far as Toronto, i'm floored with the number of options available for both men and women!

I was told the Pelvic Floor Rehabilitation program includes the following:

"Treatments are both internal and external to completely evaluate the pelvic floor muscles as well as the surrounding joints ( pelvis, back and hip) and other muscles (gluts, IT band etc.). She also evaluates the abdominal muscles as this can lead to causing more pain and tightening of the pelvic floor muscles and transversus (abdominal muscles) if the smaller muscles are not firing properly." 

I am hopeful with physiotherapy they can help me and get my body to an optimal level. It will take time, I know this, but i'm curious for their full assessment. A silly goal, but one that I have hoped for is to be able to touch my toes without bending my knees.  Again, another thing that most people can do without hesitation, but for me, my body says "nope, sorry Mel, not going to happen." I try to challenge my mind, but it can be stubborn as a mule.

I am certainly learning more about my body than ever before, which is a good thing. The mind/body connection is strong. I know that movement is very important. Learning to live with limitations has been very difficult, as I used to be such a different person. I also want to gain weight because throughout this ordeal over the last while, my eating patterns have been complicated. There are so many "weight loss" programs but I never ever see anything for healthy weight gain for those who are petite like me.

Again, it seems like everyone has the answers for weight loss and we empathize, but the moment someone is approached asking how they can gain weight, you get the snickers and rolled eyes. We're cast aside because we don't have problems like those who are obese, we're not "real" women anyhow. Size 0's don't matter.  I don't go out my way to ostracize or belittle you, but you can do that to me?  I love how the shaming goes. I love the hypocrisy.

Such a disgraceful meme, but with a pretty awesome response:

TRUTH

From my experience, very few can suggest gradual weight gain that doesn't involve drinking enormous amounts of protein shakes and eating stacks of perogies and fattening high caloric foods. So you go from one extreme to the other, feeling just as miserable or even more so, adding on other health issues that go along with being overweight! Anyhow, I digress, but that is a topic which really aggravates me to no end.

With chronic conditions, we're very hypersensitive to a lot of sensations throughout our bodies. I can feel digestive distress far more than the average person and when I have spasms and no one else can feel them, it makes me wonder, is this all in my head? I try to shake that thought because no, it's not all in my head. Yes, stress exacerbates the symptoms, but my pain is damn real and it hurts.

I know that I wouldn't have gotten this far without the amazing support of my family, fiancé and his mom, as well as the genuine friends who have stuck by me that I can now only count on my fingers. They are my guides and i'm grateful for them.

Cold Play - Fix You

So that's where we are on my health journey! I truly appreciate all the support. I will update again soon.

*Note: with pdf, you can have the opposite and experience very weak muscles, especially after child-birth. I am only discussing the condition as it applies to those who have chronic tightness

Windsor Ontario Photography: Savouring Spring Time 2015

I took a walk through East Gate Estates where I live and caught my favourite purple tree, fully bloomed.

After that, I enjoyed a relaxing walk to Reaume Park. Here are a few of my favourite photos that I took.  If we're Facebook friends, you can see some of the others on there. I hope that i'll be able to go out and about and take more pictures throughout the summer. It's something I really enjoy doing. Hope you like them!

Oh and please don't use my photos without asking permission and giving me credit (ex. photo by Melissa Arditti).  I know in the Internet world that's tough to ask, but it's just common courtesy and a wee little respect that I feel I do deserve. :)

I call these kissing flowers.

It's me. :)

A Quiet Cabin In The Woods: White Sulphur Springs

It’s always an adventure when you travel. Hotel-living gets tiring after a while, especially when you have to pack and unpack, and wonder if the person in the next room or even above/below you is going to keep you up all night long. Some places don’t even have a fridge, so you have to always eat out. After a few days on the road, I was craving a home-cooked meal.

I know many people like to go camping, but honestly, that is not my cup of tea. I have no enjoyment ‘roughing’ it, eating canned food and warming up by a fire. I don’t like to get eaten alive by mosquitoes and hear weird animal sounds throughout the night. I like nature, but on my own terms. I guess you could call me high-maintenance in this realm because I like a comfy bed, running water and four walls. When my dad told me that we were spending a night in a log cabin, I kind of thought he was having a life crisis or was pulling my leg. He wasn’t, this was for real!

I had my reservations about coming here but was slowly warming up as we drove up to the cabin and a sense of calmness came over me, as the one-lane bridge, designed to slow  down your  pace, has a welcoming essence to it and if you step out of the car, you could hear the gentle sounds of the water. Within moments, you truly feel like you’re “home.”

 The beautiful path to our cabin at White Sulphur Springs.
All photos by: Melissa Arditti

Here was our cabin, the Dogwood.

As you can see inside, we are truly “roughing” it, with a full kitchenette (all energy efficient) complete with an ice making machine and Keurig coffee maker.  Of course, a dishwasher for the dirty dishes and a bbq on the outdoor patio.

As you walk in, there’s a cozy living room with a pull out bed (which I slept on), full cable tv, wifi access, and of course, what’s a cabin without a modern fireplace?

The bedroom area has a more outdoorsy-inspired theme with decorative bedding, matching lamp shades and a completely light wooden-panel bed frame to contrast with the darker floor.

There is also a large bathroom with a separate shower/bath and vanity area.

While you’re visiting, you also get full access to the river if you’re inclined to fish, canoe or just watch the river gently flow amongst the rocks. You can even meditate in the park or enjoy a good book swaying in a hammock.

The Spring is also well-known for its mineral-rich water, which is refreshing and choked full of health benefits, with added calcium and magnesium. Caution though if you have an allergy to sulphur, you can admire the tranquil channels of water, but it is advised not to drink it.

If you’re looking to just get away from it all, White Sulphur Springs is perfect, since it is in the foothills of the Blue Ridge Mountains where nature and beauty intertwine. It provides a relaxing, secluded experience in a luxurious cabin that is only minutes away from the historic Mount Airy downtown district, in which we stopped in “Mayberry” town to enjoy lunch at Barney’s.

If this is what the simple life is, sign me up.

To learn more, visit their website.

Alternative Therapies: Lay Your Hands On Me

Before I mention anything about the treatment of Reiki, let me first address that I fully realize that some people have strong convictions that this is all hoopla; not only Reiki but acupuncture and many other types of holistic practices. I do acknowledge that some techniques that are used today can be misrepresentations because of bold and false claims, alongside of the potential to damage a person’s physical and mental state of mind.




Ying-Yang the balance of the Life
Pic of me taken by Ty B Photography

While talking to my dad one day, I asked him, how do I know if any of this stuff works or not? It is not  like taking a pill and having your headache go away or taking  a cough medicine and then stop coughing.  He told me that he had the same question and mentioned that to his acupuncturist.

“How do I know if this is working or not?”

“Do you feel better after your session?”

“Yes I do.”

“Then your question is answered.”

Convincing a person to see the world through his eyes or my eyes would be impossible, just as an explanation that everything he felt or what I’ve experienced is strictly due to the placebo effect (defined as: “the beneficial effect in a patient following a particular treatment that arises from the patient’s expectations concerning the treatment rather than from the treatment itself”) wouldn’t hold very much ground for either one of us in certain circumstances.

Founded by Dr. Mikao Usui, a Buddhist, Reiki originated in Japan and is an art form of healing using gentle touch by one’s hands. The word Reiki is made of two Japanese words – Rei which means “God’s Wisdom or the Higher Power” and Ki which is “life force energy”. So together, Reiki is actually “spiritually guided life force energy.”

Reiki treats the entire person, including the body, emotions, mind and spirit creating many positive effects, which include and not limited to: relaxation, peacefulness, security and well-being. Combined with other medical or therapeutic techniques are said to help in recovery from a variety of illnesses.

Treating me as a ‘whole’ person gave me many options with my treatment program at Beaumont Hospital. The integrated approach that they provide at the Women’s Urology Center sat very well with me because healing for me is not only in the physical sense. I realize that my mind and body need to be in sync again.  So they offer two complimentary sessions of Reiki for their patients to try out and so I took advantage of one appointment this last week.

I will not spoil the intimate and sacred practice by telling you everything that was done during my session by my Reiki practitioner, because if you do decide to try this, I’d like you to experience this as you were meant to. I will mention that she told me that every person is different though, and so for some they do not feel anything and others are the opposite.

From my encounter, I will say that I did feel a plethora of sensations as her hands positioned across different sections of my body and as I felt her light touch on my skin. At certain times, as my eyes were closed, I did see painful memories and felt a lot of intense and tingling feelings rush through my body. When I opened my eyes, I realized we were done. I felt relaxed and rather in a state of sedation or maybe even some kind of deep trance. It was peculiar but also comforting at the same time that I could be so present in the moment, without even realizing it.

What did she feel? My mind was beautiful and energy was flowing freely there, however in one part of my body, there is no energy at all. She would imagine because I feel pain, there would be a lot of energy going on, but there was nothing. My body is holding onto memories which are coined as “body memories” and actually something similar that I was told before by another person.

Everything she said was true and although I realize that it doesn’t take a rocket scientist to figure me out based on being a patient at a women’s center. However, I felt she was genuine and really committed and focused on the experience that she just shared with me.

Would I do Reiki again? At this time, no. It was too intense for me. Perhaps that’s the point of getting to the “heart of the matter” so to speak, but I’m not ready to tear down all the walls at once. It has to be gradual and maybe for someone else it would be just the right amount. I did feel very calm and relaxed afterwards, and so I think I did receive some benefits.

Reiki is practiced all over the world and I know there are many individuals here in Windsor who offer the service, some don’t just use their hands but crystals, stones and other objects. So whether you try it out here or go over to the States, just go in with an open mind and heart and allow your practitioner to do the rest. Please be advised if any person claims to "cure" you, walk out the door.

I do like some of the philosophies behind Reiki though and so part of this quote resonated with me.  I leave you with these beautiful words that I somewhat try to incorporate into my daily life now and hope you will too.

Just for today
Do not anger
Do not worry and be filled with gratitude
Devote yourself to your work
Be kind to people.
Every morning and evening, join your hands in prayer.
Pray these words to your heart
and chant these words with your mouth
Usui Mikao