Sunday, January 17, 2010

~Well, I'm gonna get out of bed every morning, breathe in and out all day long. Then, after a while I won't have to remind myself to get out of bed~

If health issues weren’t enough to give me insomnia, I was very afraid that my relationship would just disintegrate. Not only because of the obvious emotional strain that any kind of illness puts on a couple but especially because of the physical needs I’m currently unable to fulfill. We’ve been together almost a year and a half, and in Bill's eyes, he tells me that I give him so much more and so that’s what our love is all about. So the wedding bells that chime in my head still have a chance of becoming a reality.

I know there are a lot of people struggling and i'm so empathetic. I know I am lucky not to have a terminal illness, although at times I have felt like this has been a life sentence with all the pain. I pray to the many spirits that seem to surround me that things are going to get better. There's no support group here in Windsor that I've found and so to anyone that comes across my blog and wants to talk about what they are personally going through, feel free to email me at anytime or leave a comment. I still have that passion to help others in any way I can, even if that means just listening. Real genuine compassion goes a long way in this world and whenever given the chance, as the saying goes; you pay it forward.

I'm going to enclose a wonderful quote that Bill found for me which I printed out and have on my desk. When i'm not able to push through the negative thinking, I read this outloud to help me get into a better frame of mind.

The longer I live, the more I realize the impact of attitude on life.

Attitude to me is more important than facts.

It is more important than the past, than education, than money, than circumstances, than failures, than success, than what other people think or say or do.

It is more important than appearance, gift, or skill. It will make or break a company...a church...a home.

The remarkable thing is we have a choice every day regarding the attitude we will embrace for that day.

We cannot change our past... The only thing we can do is play on the string we have, and that is our attitude.

I am convinced that life is 10% what happens to me and 90% how I react to it.

And so it is with you... we are in charge of our attitudes."

--Charles Swindoll.