The A-HA moment!

 

"Heard it from a friend who...heard it from a friend who....heard from another you’ve been ..."

If you’re familiar with the classic song Take It On The Run by REO Speedwagon, you’ll know the damage that rumours can do to someone. It can ruin their professional reputation, personal life, and have a devastating ripple effect.   Still, people believe what they want to, without even a bat of an eyelash. You can show someone all the facts, all the proof, and they'll turn a blind eye.

There is a part of me that doesn't want to question someone’s integrity or intentions, especially when I’m told something that sounds so convincing and true. However, my rational brain (truly thankful for my husband who continues to help me so much with becoming a more rational person instead of letting my emotions carry me away) tells me s-t-o-p for a minute and sure enough, everything my heart wants to believe so badly is a lie, a filthy lie.  It can be heart-wrenching at times, and wrestling with the consequences of knowing. Our brains are fascinating but known to play tricks on us all the time. 

My Epiphany

I have cried more during this pandemic, out of frustration, anger,  sadness, loneliness, betrayal, the whole gamut, and it’s mainly because I wanted control over what deep down I knew I couldn’t ever control. We are all responsible for our own actions, an apology is meaningless unless you actually acknowledge your part and leave out the unhelpful  “but” response.  Hardly anyone knows how to do that, and if they do, I am the first person to give them a high five, well a virtual high five at the current time, but you get my drift.

I think the treatment we choose to accept in any part of our lives, really does hold a certain level of power. If we allow others to harm us, we lose confidence in our abilities, we lose a bit more of ourselves, and we get bitter and vengeful.  This in turn says to our body, ALERT ALERT, and our cortisol spikes and sets us up for acute issues that can definitely turn into chronic conditions.  Living proof of that.

Enlightenment came to me when I realized that it is equally healthy to accept or not accept an apology. There should be no guilt attached. Like everyone else, I am really under no order to proceed with a relationship, a friendship, a business contact, or whatever the case may be. Why? Because I set my limits, and it's finally about me, instead of worrying about what everyone else's expectations are. The only thing we can control is our reaction to what this world throws at us, and that is ultimately what gives me back my power, and maybe you too. 

One thing I will hold onto very dearly in 2022 is this quote from Mark Twain, which says it all:

“If you tell the truth, you don't have to remember anything.”

💕Happy holidays to my readers, and I'll see you back here in 2022.  

Dad's progress

UPDATE: Just another update on my dad since I know a lot of our friends want to know how he is doing.

So I guess I could say that everyday is certainly an adventure for all of us! When i walk into the room, either my dad knows who I am or it takes him a bit of time to process. At first this was really hard to handle emotionally, but I have come to terms that there may be days where he doesn't remember my name, but he recalls details. The other day, he realized that I had my haircut.

My dad is feeding himself and we are trying to keep meals healthy. His appetite is still weak, but way better than before. He is also walking around a bit more and doing exercises that were prescribed by the physiotherapist, instead of always staying in bed.

We got him a whole stack of dvds and musicals to watch, so Fiddler on the Roof has been playing pretty much non-stop, along with The 3 Tenors. It makes him smile and stimulates his brain. We're going to try some cards today.

He is also communicating better as well, cracking jokes at times, although still a bit jumbled especially when he gets tired. So although some days are better than others, we are still very hopeful for more improvement as time goes by.

We are welcoming visitors who are able to provide *only* positive and upbeat conversation because that is what my dad is really responding to. Sometimes his mind goes back to certain topics, but the best thing to do is just say "everything is taken care of and there's no need for you to worry" and then change the subject.

I guess that's it for now. Our days are long and sometimes physically and emotionally exhausting. We just want to say thank you again to those who have actively been helping our family, in even the smallest of ways. Every bit counts so we can provide the best possible care and continue the path of recovery. It is all greatly appreciated.

~The Arditti Family~

Technology: Remote Assistance

Perhaps I am behind on technological advances, but after a recent experience of having a friend search through my whole computer to troubleshoot, all the way from his office at work, look how far we’ve come from spending hours upon hours of precious time with technical phone support!

I bet a lot of people share my feelings of being frustrated at one time or another because the expertise of a rep sometimes exceeds your own knowledge or the actual problem just has you so frazzled that you are unable to even follow the simplest step-by-step instructions.

Life has this frequent tendency to catch us off guard, and so the ingenious discovery (well my recent finding anyhow, I realize that RA has been around for quite some time now, but this my first time to ever use it!) of Remote Assistance was perfect timing.

Remote Assistance is a way for someone else to simply “take over your computer.” Yes, control! After you locate the program and it loads up, you can send an invite to “someone you trust” as it states, with or without a password code. It is then delivered to the recipient’s e-mail account, and he/she has the ability to click on the link attached in order to connect to the other side. No, not the dark side, but it gives permission to let the other person connect to your computer. Once those preliminaries are sorted out, the magic begins!

As you sit back with mocha latte or a glass of red wine in your hand because your stress is appearing to melt away now that you believe someone can finally figure out why your computer is malfunctioning, watch as the other person completely navigates around your entire system. Warning, all your files are readily available so keep those naughty photos in a safe place unless you’re comfortable with someone else taking a peek as they try and figure out the computer issue!  Take note that depending on how quickly someone can zip through, you can still easily follow along and see what is being done. If you have a microphone, landline or even cell phone, you can communicate verbally too on speaker phone, just in case you had any questions throughout the process or if you suddenly feel adventurous to learn some other techniques being shown to you for the next computer disaster.

At critical times, Remote Assistance may not be the solution and you’ll actually need someone to physically be at your location to really get down to the nitty-gritty of what is happening. However, for certain technical support problems when you would phone up your ISP and the rep would attempt to talk you through the problems occurring, it seems like most of them are using this more efficient method to communicate with customers. 

I cannot tell you how relieved I am to have another option for technical support instead of hearing the dreaded “someone from _______ company will come to your home between the hours of 8 AM – 6 PM.” 

For me, Remote Assistance was a blessing in disguise that I am so happy to know about now and want to share with everyone else. Goodbye virtual insanity!