I figured I would get a standard "thank you" response, but felt compelled to still write her, with the hope that it would at least get a glance because of... I guess my hopeful romantic tendencies of believing that a site like this would exist someday. She took the time to write me back after receiving my article that I wrote below:
You said I wasn't your kind, only here for the ride
I recently met a man who told me that "the worst punishment anyone can be faced with in life is loneliness. We need air to breathe, food to keep our bodies working, and companionship to feel alive. He believed that "no man (or woman) is an island." He didn't mention anything about sex, which was very surprising, as it is human nature to have those needs, but I allowed him to continue. "Sex is important in a relationship," he blatantly told me. "To be intimate, to make love with another is a wonderful feeling, so don't get me wrong there, but it's not everything." When he said "it's not everything" those words seemed to echo in my head. "Having someone to share some good conversation with over a cup of coffee and to explore all the beauty that life has to offer together, holds more value in the end, my dear lady."
I thought about all the people who have faced terrible illnesses and how amazing it was that their partner's still stuck by their side. I've read stories of others who couldn't participate any longer in sexual relations because of trauma and/or medical reasons, not only females, but males too. They wondered when their partner would leave or even have an affair due to that gap in the relationship. It's often embarrassing and makes you feel like a solitary existence is easier on your heart.
I had hoped that someday there would be a dating service that offered companionship on a level that took out the physical component. You could hold hands or cuddle, but the rest was never really brought into the equation. It was almost like an unwritten rule that wasn't discussed, sort of the way it's known to stay away from topics like politics, sex, and religion on a first date.
Needless to say, a friend on Facebook posted a link to this site called 2date4Love.com. The founder, Laura B. was diagnosed with Stage IV cervical cancer and after treatments found that her body no longer responded the same way as it did before, which made it a challenge to date. The site is geared towards people who are looking for love that doesn't focus on the physical. It is about finding a compatible partner who respects and understands your decision that intimacy can be much more than what it initially is portrayed in the media and among society.
My only hope is that people will genuinely sign up and the fakes who prey on the vulnerable will just continue to browse the other dating sites and leave this one alone.
After reading more into the site here: RomanceOnly, it appears to be a great resource for connecting with others who truly feel the way you do.
It really doesn't matter what your story is. Everyone deserves to have someone special in their life to come home to and ask "hi honey, how was your day?" and to feel a warm embrace without the expectation that something else has to follow.
There are billions of people in the world, but finding that connection is far from easy. As my gentleman friend told me "you kiss a lot of frogs to get to your prince and the one who stays through the worst times is worth keeping around for the better times ahead."
I asked Laura if it would be okay if I could posted part of her reply to me and she gave permission.
So now i'm sharing it with anyone who reads my blog. She's an absolute sweetheart from our correspondences back and forth and so who knows what lies ahead for the future.
Here it is:
Hi Melissa,
Your article was very moving and a great, true example of how one feels being and living in the situation many of us have been living.
There is real freedom in the thought of going on a date and not having this subject on the forefront of the mind and having to concentrate on the actual conversation that's happening while fighting the thoughts that linger at the same time....as you stated we all need the basics for survival, but that does not bring happiness and companionship.
I'm so delighted with the response of so many and their kind words...one thing stays with me in your article and that is the statement that, " loneliness is the greatest punishment anyone can be faced with in life"
Was this a story you wrote or someone you know, or met? It's not something such honesty comes out in a typical conversation.
At any rate, I appreciate you taking the time to check out the website as well as writing to the info page in hopes that I would get it...
Thank you so much. The team is very prompt and sends me all the heartfelt stories! It's interesting that there has been such a correspondence and interest with the people in Canada! Very cool!
Thanks again,
Love and Peace,
Laura B.
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