Showing posts with label 519 Windsor. Show all posts
Showing posts with label 519 Windsor. Show all posts

Movie Review: Crab-Loading Fun For All in Marathon



Well it’s time for a mockumentary! Marathon, written and directed by Anthony Guidubaldi and Keith Strausbaug, throw together a hilarious cast of pseudo-professional misfits who are determined to win this year’s Devil’s Canyon Marathon, yet keep failing at every turn.

The first 10 minutes couldn’t help but transport me to any of the Christopher Guest-style mockumentaries like A Mighty Wind and Best In Show, as both had me laughing even after the credits ended. However, those are huge shoes to fill and so this movie is just be taken on its own merit.

Marathon feels like an on-going dysfunctional therapy session, if you’ve ever partook in one of those. We get a glimpse into each of the runners’ lives, including Ed (Jimmy Slonina) the organizer of the race,  who is silently swimming in all of life’s woeful regrets, yet making the best out of it by proudly showing the devilish swag t-shirts he had made, after all there are some Satanists running the race – inclusiveness for all.  I am pretty convinced he still lives in his parents’ basement.

Ryan (Andrew Hansen) is up next, a self-absorbed divorcé who marches to the beat of his own drum and insists on his tried and true crab-loading (NOT carb-loading) system to prepare for the upcoming race.  When one brings out the superiority complex, you don’t need a therapist to note there’s esteem issues and umm… 8mm to play with.

Jenna (Natalie Sullivan) is right behind Ryan as far as competitiveness goes. Keep your eye on the prize. She intends to get the fastest marathon time dressed as… you got it, a banana! I think she’s also a bit of a closet nymph but she has a lot of layers to peel back to figure out who she really is.

Of course, we can’t forget Shareef (Tavius Cortez) who must have a bullseye target on his back since the police continue to show up wherever he goes and try to attack him. Any reason? Nay, just the usual racial profiling that still sadly exists today. To make matters even more complicated, his sister is a big bully and tries to undermine his confidence any chance she gets.

Abby (Anais Thomassian) is just on the struggle bus as a new mom, and desperately longs for a moment of peace to herself so she can train for the race. Her identity is glued to being a mom though, and as a side note, her clumsiness is really getting out of hand.

Emilou (Kimia Behpoornia) is motivated, motivated to do nothing. There is a sense of epic levels of apathy. She quits before she even starts just about everything and is damn proud of it – hey pass the chips.

I will also give a shout out to the Cody LeBoeuf, the Water Station Attendant. They never get any love.

The on-going counter-intuitive guru inspiration from Ryan is hilarious and probably stands out the most, as we follow the runners’ through a camera lens and share glimpses into their complicated lives.  As continual setbacks happen before the marathon, the competition gets fiercer day by day, ultimately leading to race day where chaos ensues.

Overall, a fun romp of a film, not to be taken seriously, thus a heads up to anyone reading that everyone is going to be mocked in some fashion.  It’s like if you’re going to a comedy club, don’t sit in the front row and expect not to be picked on. Hell, don’t even go to the show in the first place because you may be the comic’s next victim.  The movies pushes the boundaries, and in today’s sociopolitical climate, some may enjoy the humour and others may cringe. If you want to venture into these comical waters, you be the judge for yourself!


You can check out this review and many others that I have written, by following the link below!

💜519 Magazine Review

Hockey Night In Windsor: Windsor Spitfires Vs Owen Sound Attack

Last night Bill and I went to see the Windsor Spitfires take on the Owen Sound Attack! Good game, but if i'm going to be totally honest, the Spits didn't play cohesively very well as a a team. So many missed pass opportunities. They played extremely aggressive as per usual and got a few good shots in, but when it came down to it, Owen Sound took the win 3-2. They were working together as a well oiled-machine on the rink, so I think that's where the Spits need to improve in future games.

This was my opinion anyhow. It was still a fun game to watch and I would like to thank Dan and April Savoie from 519 Windsor for the tickets!

Here are a few photos that I took at the game:







Jurassic Thunder: Ready, Aim, Misfire!



Who wouldn’t want to stop WW3 from happening?  There’s a zombie plague happening in Africa, and so the USA and the Russians attempt to stop the madness by using electronic-controlled dinosaurs that have guns strapped to their heads. When that plan flops (which one can say is part of the movie’s absurdity), they call in the clueless commandos to take over, as I wouldn’t consider someone rubbing dinosaur feces on their face to be the brightest bulb in the bunch.

Jurassic Thunder takes b-movies to a whole new level with bad humour puns throughout. With names like Colonel Sanders (cue all the chicken jokes) and a botched-Botox sausage who resembles President, Donald Trump, you should know what you’re getting into. You may want to have a drink every time Donald Trump says “you’re fried!” I mean, fired.

If you pay attention, the movie does give a nod to Tropic Thunder, Predator, what began as a cool aviator scene, like in Top Gun and obviously, Jurassic Park.

The dinosaurs are lame, as you would expect, clod-hopping around just following orders to kill enemies. There is enough gore and explosive guts. However, aside from what most would say is bad CGI and shoddy camera work,  it was interesting to read about a lot of the detailed modelling work that went into these dino creations.

With the beginning of the movie showing Jurassic Thunder as a comic book and being gently taken out of the original packaging (ooooh!) to tell the story, another cool part was the comic-book panel style meshing. I wish they incorporated that a bit more throughout, but a nice artistic touch that I could appreciate.

All in all, Jurassic Thunder is not going to win any prestige awards, nor will any of the acting probably get any better if there is a part two. There’s little coherency in the story but you can’t go wrong with crazy dinosaurs, blazin’ guns, and drooling zombies, or can you?

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You can also find my review at 519 Windsor: https://519magazine.com/movie-review-jurassic-thunder-ready-aim-misfire/

Top 5 Movies of 2019!

2019 was an interesting year for movies overall. As always, there were big hits, some that had potential but were hugely disappointing, and a few rare gems that will leave a permanent imprint in your soul.  I’m giving you my top five film choices that really stood out for me this year.

You can also check out my list at 519 Windsor: 




The Grizzlies – 2019 started out strong with this Canadian film directed by Miranda de Pencier that was shown at Cineplex about a determined teacher who brings his passion of sport (lacrosse) to youth in a small Inuit town called Kugluktuk. Based on a true story, it is incredible to know the great lengths that went into the production. The film shows the complexities of suicide, the adversity that these teens and families face on a daily basis, and the courage for some to break through.  A profound movie-going experience, including original music by various Indigenous artists.


Fighting With My Family – A great cast (especially my favourite; Nick Frost!) with family dynamics that make each character lovable in their own way.  The story resonates with many of us, even if we’re not in the throws of becoming professional wrestlers in the WWE ring, but knowing your place in the real world.  Be the underdog in your own story.


Rocketman – Taron Egerton (known for his incredible performance as Eddie the Eagle!) is once again brilliant, this time stepping into the glittery shoes of portraying the iconic performer; Elton John.  The poignant message of the film: I’m Still Standing.


Bohemian Rhapsody – Rami Malek releases his inner Mercury (Freddie Mercury from Queen) that will bring you to your feet and then to tears. Absolutely loved this film from start to finish. The music, the memories, the heartbreak and the notion that it is never too late to find Somebody To Love. (I realize this was in my top 2018, but still worth mentioning again as it was close to 2019)



Yesterday – What would life be without the music of The Beatles? A little bit of this and that, Yesterday is full of romantic interludes and comedic flourishes with a fantasy plot. I’m a sucker for musicals. Himesh Patel is wonderfully charming and his vocal ranges in many of the songs are melodic to the ear and truly touch the heart. He paired perfectly with the ridiculously cute and whimsical, Lily James. In the end, there is no doubt that the film does Come Together.



*Honourable Mention: Doctor Sleep – A sequel that does pay homage to Kubrick’s 1980’s classic, The Shining, yet clearly succeeds with its own style too. I was very captivated by the intensity of the movie, the characters, the compelling villain, and just the story itself. Definitely not disappointed and a bonus that I could actually sleep afterwards



Fantasy is Alive In Stratford’s The Neverending Story

Photo by Emily Cooper

Stratford is known for its world-class theatre and every year the lineup is different, so there is something for all ages to enjoy. Going on our honeymoon after celebrating an 80’s inspired wedding was perfect because of two very special shows at the theatre this year; The Neverending Story (1984 release) and Little Shop of Horrors (1986 release). Let’s look at The Neverending Story in this review.

If you were born in the 80’s, The Neverending Story probably holds a special place in your heart. Maybe it was your connection to Artax the Horse or the sweetness of Falcor the Luck Dragon. Perhaps it was even the empathy felt for Bastian losing his mother at a very young age and only left with fleeting memories.

It was quite interesting to see this production and to learn about the lengthy time it took to bring a tale like this to life on stage. The story highlights the innocence, bravery and imagination that lies in each one of us. There was a fantastical feel from the set design, especially with the creative puppetry undertaken by so many talented people.  Also the music was incredible and fit the whole mood and style that I think Franklin Brasz, the Director of Music was trying to convey from the original music by Hawksley Workman.

The gnomes Urgl and Engywook surprisingly stood out for me the most. They reminded me in a lot of ways of Miracle Max and his wife, Valerie, from The Princess Bride.  Maybe it was the banter back and forth or just that underlying love they had for each other.  I also thought the scene of Bastian running from his school bullies was thrilling, from the lighting to the puppetry of car lights in action.

My criticisms are few, but I would have liked a bit more from The Childlike Empress played by Mamie Zwettler. I felt she was a bit of an afterthought.  Also there is a lot of times where the emotion doesn’t quite capture the moment and then it is rushed off to a completely different scene. I think the pacing could have been focused on more.

Overall, the visual nature of the play was wonderful.  The details that weren’t present in the movie version (like the talking, wisdom-filled Artax the horse) added another level to the fantastical experience that I believe will continue to evolve for generations to come and the beauty of knowing that our imagination is limitless when we tell our own Neverending Story.

The Neverending Story runs in The Stratford Festival’s Avon Theatre until Nov. 3. For more visit: www.stratfordfestival.ca

You can also check out my review at 519 Windsor

A Botanical Nightmare of Joy in Stratford Festival’s Little Shop of Horrors

Photo by: Cylla von Tiedemann

Stratford is known for its world-class theatre and every year the lineup is different, so there is something for all ages to enjoy. Going on our honeymoon after celebrating an 80’s inspired wedding was perfect because of two very special shows at the theatre this year; The Neverending Story (1984 release) and Little Shop of Horrors (1986 release). Let’s look at Little Shop of Horrors in this review.

When you grow up with nothing and people treat you like nothing, how can you thrive, especially when you’re downtown on skid row? For Seymour, an orphan taken in by a demanding and demeaning shop owner, you get that lucky break, a fortunate opportunity lands in your lap where you are the talk of the town and everyone suddenly loves you because you have something that they want.  In this case, a rather “strange and unusual” looking plant named Audrey II pops up. It’s sweet and inviting at first, but an evil lurks that you can’t quite put your finger on.

Desperation, abandonment, greed, hope and of course, the need to be loved are are themes that are explored in this musical-style performance.  A side note, you can really feel like the heart-ache from Audrey, played by Gabi Epstein. It’s subtle at times, but for anyone who has battled with breaking away from cycle of domestic violence, tears may shed when she sings “Somewhere that’s Green.” Do not despair though, knowing that wholesome and loving men like Seymour exist in the world can bring a smile to your face.

There were so many stellar performances all around in this production, like Seymour, played by Andre Morin. Then there is the sadistic dentist, played by Dan Chameroy. He was absolutely brilliant and exhausting to watch on stage with his boundless energy! You may remember him last year at Stratford, as the eccentric Dr Franken-Furter in Rocky Horror Picture Show. This man is multi-talented! A special nod to the incredible singers; Vanessa Sears, Starr Domingue and Camille Eanga-Selenge, who put the extra harmonizing doo-wop shoo-bop in the musical.  Also, who could forget the grocer, played by Jordan Mah. What a hoot, he really added a ton of comic relief. Lastly, the toothy, green-leafed star, Audrey II, voiced by Matthew G. Brown! The intricate details were incredible, growing from a tiny plant to a massive one before your eyes. The multiple puppeteers on each one were great.

If you have seen the film, you’ll notice some differences in this live version, which I think were well thought-out and really heightened the dramatic feel of the musical in itself. Also, it’s a heads or tails on the ending, but the message from the moment the curtain rises up until the final scene is crystal clear, don’t feed the plant!

Little Shop of Horrors has been extended to Nov. 9, 2019 at The Stratford Festival’s Avon Theatre. For more information, visit www.stratfordfestival.ca

You can also check out my review at 519 Windsor